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I'm gonna try to give you some constructive criticism here.

 

The camera shakes way to much for a piece like this. It should be on a gimbal or steadycam. The sound was a bit weird, and the laughter just didn't fit in at all. If you are going with laughter, at least it has to sound good. It can't cut like that.

 

I like the location, but I feel like you could have utilized it more.

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I actually like the incongruent laugh track :) but i.m.h.o. it takes so long to get there setting things up with the tilt down and pan and him deciding to go talk to her.

 

When he says "hello, hi" at around 00:53 i.m.h.o. is when it starts to get interesting :)

 

I can't wait to see the next one!

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