16mm film

[ross e lea]

hey ya'll

 

looking for constructive criticism on anything.

directing, editing, story, whatever.

 

opinions please! :-)

 

 

www.thinkmonkeymedia.com/thelastjar

Edited May 27, 2009 by ross e lea

[David Desio]

hey ya'll

 

looking for constructive criticism on anything.

directing, editing, story, whatever.

 

opinions please! :-)

 

 

www.thinkmonkeymedia.com/thelastjar

 

 

Ok, I'll go first. First off, good job on getting into the location, I assume you had not much of a budget and would like to know how you secured that location. I thought that the old man was decent, Duey was ok, the rest of the actors...eh. I like the idea of a disgruntled employee fantasizing about getting even with a mean boss, even dancing with a pretty girl, in order to pass the time of an otherwise mundane day. Not really sure about the actual plot of this one, so the old man steals the apple sauce at the end? Alright...

 

Now for some technical stuff:

 

I think the sound from dialogue to the score needs work as far as the mix goes. Also, with the score why use so many different and recognizable songs? You may liek them but to me an original score is always better, or at least stick to one theme with the music because as of now it's all over the place.

 

As for camera, one shot stood out that really bothered me. The zoom during the old man's crying scene went from a MED to an out of focus CU. If you like to zoom during a scene that's your choice but at least try to keep the image in focus or use another take. The hand-held thing kinda didn't sit well though you had some interesting angles working. If you'd put the camera on sticks those angles would have looked better IMO.

 

Editing-

I kept waiting for a reason for the TV static and snow, like we were watching this all through a surveilence camera or something to justify it. I like jump cuts and think that yours would work without the TV gimmick. There were a few times were you cut into an insert shot, like cutting in to jar smashing on the floor; that seemed abrupt and redundant. We could have seen the jar hit the floor in the wide shot and gotten the reaction from the old man without interrupting the scene to punctuate the jar hitting the floor. I think the other shot was the insert of the fanny pack on Duey. Maybe a better way to get the joke across would have been to tilt up from his shoes to reveal his dorkish face as he says his first line. Again though, this is just my opinion.

 

Overall I like the concept and the two main characters kept me interested.

 

Dave

[Ram Shani]

i agree. the overall fill from the movie is form over content

 

i didn't understand the editing and the effects and the titles

 

it got me out of the story and character

 

i like the lead actor

 

and cinematography