I got fired yesterday

[Robert Costello]

One thing to consider is HISTORY is so rich and diverse and

there is SO much out there that is interesting and uncovered

by documentaries.

 

I don't know your subject matter at the last company,

But I would find a SURVIVAL job, maybe like someone

mentioned move to a bigger city, but you don't have to..

Then after work and on weekends work on your projects...

 

Find a niche area that interests you,

 

contact scholars, even students who study that area ...

(who wouldn't want to help be in a documentary for their own resume??)

 

Get on craigslist for narrators or voice actors...

 

If you already have experience with writing/directing/shooting/editing

and were at the point that you were going to actually have a meeting

with producer/client then you can surely do these things on your own...

 

As far as selling it, I don't know how that works but I'm sure you

know the TV/education market a bit....

 

Nothing is that expensive, you don’t need avid or a red camera...

 

If you are passionate about Historical documentary then look at what makes the

subject INTERESTING and follow that...

 

We've all had and lost great jobs and relationships...

 

Charge it to the game...

 

Things happen for a reason...

[Jim Carlile]

I agree with Dominic C.: it all sounds fishy as hell. First they accept your project, then they fire you? Makes no sense. It sounds like economics to me-- wonder if they still have the rights to your project and will go ahead with it (and gee, no longer have to pay you for it...?) Hmm.

 

Best advice you got here is to file for unemployment immediately. Since there was no progressive discipline or warning then they can't claim you were fired for cause, so you can't get turned down for misconduct. Just call it a layoff.

 

If they fight you on it then that's proof they were trying to screw you economically-- so it's not you. You'll win because they never gave you an opportunity to save your job, and that's required of an employer in all states.

 

Then-- don't take it personally.

[Brad Grimmett]

I've heard many people say, "You're nobody in this business until you get fired." You can learn a lot from being fired, and as many people have already said, many times it's the best thing that can happen to you. Pretty much all of the best and brightest in this business have been canned at some point. So consider yourself in good company. It's far from the end of the world and far from the end of your career.

[Greg Gross]

Hello,

Many years ago in vietnam I was angry at god for letting my men die and for letting them die alone so

often. I used to lie out on ambushes at night and an overwhelming feeling would come over me telling

that I was too far from home(Pennsylvania) and that I never would get home again. So I worked hard

trying to keep everybody alive and healthy and just in case there was a god,I would say a prayer every

day; not for myself but for everybody else. Well I never died and I got home again and since then I've

shot a lot of film and a lot of raw digital images. I still do not know if there is a god but I still say a pray-

er everyday. Seems like my photography is always better for it,still I'm not sure there is a god. So say

a little prayer for yourself and for others everyday. Just in case there is a god,it won't do you any harm.

I'm one that believes when you take care of others that some how you help yourself,heal yourself. So

take the gentleman's advice......"run everyday and if you break a leg run on the other leg". I might add

to that by saying,if you break both legs then crawl everyday. You have a friend in Pennsylvania,pd 170

user@yahoo.com. I'll end with a famous quote-"the kid stays in the picture". Now you are free to produce

and shoot your on films. So my friend "stay in the picture".

 

Greg Gross

[robert duke]

There is a lot of good advice here.

 

two things I feel the need to add.

 

1. This came from my wife so you know its good. when you have died and buried no one will write on your tomestone "he worked really hard and shot a lot of good stuff". The people around you who know and CARE about you will remember but when they are gone nothing but the dash between dates will signify your work and the sweat you put into it.

 

2. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Money follows love. If you love something and love doing something, it will show and money will follow. there is always a way to support you and what you love doing. It is through practicing the art that love for what you do is revealed.

 

I love gripping It is really all I want to do. I have had bad experiences and good ones. In the end it was the love of what I do that was my joy.

 

Do what you love, do it with love, people will see your love shine in the product you have.

 

good luck

[Will Green]

Dont feel bad about it, we all have setbacks. If everyone gave up when someone first made them feel like an amateur or sacked them or caught them doing something wrong, thered be no people making films. You've got a masters, your intelegent, just learn and never give up. good luck

 

That is a problem.

 

 

 

The Chinese symbol for "crisis" is the same one for "chance." This crisis may be a chance for you to grow and mature.

 

Do you have any good friends or any non-toxic family members? Find people you can trust and just share your life with them. For a long time. Don't expect life to get better overnight. After a couple years, you may find yourself a different person, and love different things. Film is not the end, for sure. It is only a shadow of real things. Find out what is real.

[Dominic Case]

when they are gone nothing but the dash between dates will signify your work and the sweat you put into it.

"The dash between the dates on your tombstone" . . . . wow, that's a pretty cutting way to describe a life, isn't it! Cuts us all down to size. Or makes you determined to find something to do that really really really "makes a difference".

[Jamie Metzger]

make sure they aren't stealing your script.

[Jason Reimer]

Dude, I can totally feel your pain on this one. In the last year, I got fired by my girlfriend/best friend, in the most unsavory of ways (and with some help from a guy I thought was a friend), then a few months back I got outsourced from my job (non-film/photography-related job). I can totally understand where you're at right now, and what you're feeling, that sense of having just driven over one of life's IED's and wondering if you're going to bleed out and die, or ever get up and walk again. And the wondering about what the purpose, your purpose in life is. It can be brutal. Practically speaking, the little things can help keep you going, like the fitness stuff Hal mentioned, and trying to make yourself see it as an opportunity rather than a setback. Those are definitely all true. I'd have to totally agree with Andrew Banks, though; for me as I work at putting the pieces back together and moving forward hopefully to thrive (not just survive), there are inescapable theological implications to deal with. Where does my identity come from- my work, my hobbies, my job, a girl, or is it given to me by Someone bigger than all of that? If my personal plan goes to hell because of circumstances outside my control (in my eyes, anyway), is there a bigger plan or story which it is a part of? I understand we're all going to see this differently, but that's my $.02. I really hope you're doing better, Brian.

 

This reminds me of a line from the Lord of the Rings; Gandalf says something along the lines of "Despair is for those who see the end with certainty. We do not."

[Jonathan Bowerbank]

If you already have a few credits as a writer, you're a million steps ahead of most screenwriters out there. The only hardship it seems you've experienced so far is you lost a steady job in production...welcome to the real world of filmmaking.

 

Be thankful for the reality check, now get back to work. :)

[Mei Lewis]

There's some sage advice on this thread.

 

How are you feeling about things now Brian?

[Brian Rose]

There's some sage advice on this thread.

 

How are you feeling about things now Brian?

 

 

I really appreciate the continuing comments, support and concern. It's been six or seven weeks now. I've quit keeping track. I'm doing better, and not feeling quite so lost and despairing as I was during the first week. But it's still tough going, with work slowing for the holidays/winter season, and the miserable winter weather here (I'm in Kansas), and the Christmas season all kind of compounding to create one big funk. It stinks to hear people talking about Christmas shopping, and I can't afford t get people much of anything. After six years of college, I'd thought for one I'd be in a position to get something nice for the people I care about, but instead I can't manage more than a stupid blu-ray or a toaster.

 

Not to mention, I need new gear, and there is all this great stuff out there, and I've got to try to come up with the money to invest in myself. And every time one of my friends wins an award, or gets some grant money for their film, I feel jealous because my newest film didn't even get accepted to my local film festival. I feel insecure with worries that I've just got no damn talent as a filmmaker or a DP, and I get even more angry and disgusted at myself when I can't even take pleasure in my friends successes.

 

I think why I'm still struggling, above all else, is that I so very miss being a part of something. I didn't have many friends as a kid, young adult, or even now, despite my best efforts. I tried getting involved in groups, clubs, teams throughout my school years, but all were with mediocre results. I wasn't NEEDED, and I sensed I wasn't particuarly WANTED, either.

 

I thought when this company hired me, that I had finally found a place. I really, really thought these guys liked me, and had a real need for the skills I brought to the table: as a cameraman, as an editor, and as a researcher (the company specialized in history films, and I got my undergrad in history). Most of all, I thought they WANTED me around.

 

My favorite DPs have one common thread: they distinguished themselves through their collaborative relationships: Totheroh and Chaplin, Bitzer and Griffith, Cardiff and Powell + Pressburger, Daniel and Linklater, Deakins and the Coens. For a few months, I thought I might have found my collaborators, and I dreamt of the great work we'd do together.

I was looking forward to meeting new people, making connections, but also being a part of of a small, closely knit team of collaborators making good films that were both profitable and doing a great service to the public.

 

Then I was let go, and along with the usual "it's the economy," "you're the last hired" kind of lingo, there were other things they revealed. That I was an extravagance, that I wasn't justifying what they were paying me, that I wasn't gelling with the rest of the team. That last one was a shock. I considered everyone there a friend. And yet, after I was fired, none of them gave me a call, or even sent me an email saying they were sorry, or that they would miss me, or that they were thinking of me.

 

It was like high school all over again, and once again, I'm by myself. I'm trying to compete, looking everywhere, from craigslist to production companies, schools with media programs to people who need wedding videographers. So far I've gotten one gig, and it was for a family member, which sickens me to think it was really charity. I've got to compete with other guys who have years, decades of experience, who own gear, or have clients who can afford to cover rental costs. I really shouldn't even use the word compete, because I CAN'T compete with them. I'm wondering if my skills are even worth a damn, since there are better people out there. I've tried to fall back on my history back ground, but this too seems to be a lot of dead ends. History just doesn't seem to be very important these days, and so the money is short.

 

My friends are all getting married and have great careers and doing cool things, and I can't afford to do any of it. Dating? Who'd want someone with such dim prospects as mine? And I see the work my friends are doing, as well as the work you all at this forum are doing, and I feel more and more like Salieri: filled with the desire to achieve something good and important, but denied the talent, and cursed with the ability to see the beauty of other work, and how small mine is by comparison.

 

It all adds up to where I sometimes question my worth. I was so sure cinema/film/video was for me. I love running camera, and making my little films, yet what is the point if no one wants what I have to offer, and my work matters nothing to no one?

[Adrian Sierkowski]

I spent last night in bed thinking pondering many of the same things. The words of my girlfriend (who for some reason refuses to let me give up film falling on deaf ears despite my own questions of what is it worth). The primary difference here is that I shoot so much stuff that just never gets finished. As though what I did wasn't important enough to make those people in charge thereof give a damn about it to get it done. So it goes. But to think that you're not a part of something, that other people cannot give you comradeship, well that's silly. How many people on here have told you to keep your head up?

It's tough, this business, it takes thick skin and a stubbornness which other professions don't. It takes months of doing nothing and years of doing crap to get to those places you really want to be. The fact that this is a bum economy doesn't help either. But none of this is to say that this darkened time will become the norm. Sure, there are slow times, and downright stagnant times. But there are up times. There are great shoots you're proud of and those you wish to forget. Keep at it, and it will get better, easier, though such things do not often come about quickly or when you expect them.

As for investing in equipment, slow and steadily build it up. Build up a relationship with other owner/ops in your area and subrent from them when need be. Cut them in a deal for the kit, you'll take a bit of a hit in your income, but you won't have to own a camera system as quickly. Also, try to work out nights and evenings to go out and have drinks with other area filmmakers; even if you have to buy a round.

[Mike Lary]

It sounds like your attitude is and has been the problem. Instead of looking for sympathy and wallowing in your perceived misery, how about trying to get some perspective? You made it through grad school with no debt, you have a camera and a glidecam, and you worked a job that enabled you to squirrel away over $4000. You think you have it rough? There are plenty of grads out there who didn't pull in $4000 last year combined because they were busting their asses on low budget features, music videos, and any other prospects that might get them a connection to a real job. They had little or no opportunity to be creative, and some of them have tens of thousands of dollars in debt (even upwards of a hundred grand), with creditors calling them every week looking for payments. They can't afford to pay their bills AND eat. You can't afford more equipment - big deal. Your are free from college debt. You had a PAYING JOB doing what you love in the worst the economy has been in fifty years. They fired you and that means they don't want you, so stop wanting them and stop wanting their approval. It's done.

 

Life is harsh. If you can't find the inner motivation to do what it is that you're passionate about, no one else is going to want to do it with you. People might jump on the pity train in a forum, but that doesn't happen out there when we're working. You're not going to find an environment where everyone 'needs' you and gives you constant reassurance. That ends when you leave the nest. If you tell people you have no value, they're going to walk away. That goes for employers, co-workers, and potential lovers.

 

As far as your Salieri comparison goes, are you really someone who holds others in contempt because he thinks they don't deserve what they have, someone who is jealous of his friends because he thinks it isn't fair that he doesn't have the same things - even though they EARNED it all? If so, you need to research the definition of 'friend', because that kind of behavior is what distances people from other humans. If you've never been able to make friends, you're probably doing it all wrong. Read Aristotle. Learn how to be a friend.

[Gregory Middleton]

You all speak a lot of truth. And to answer one person's question, I'm actually not in Carbondale anymore. I'm in KC, which is a pretty good scene for production work.

 

What I'm having trouble with is that I'm still so shaken up. It's called everything I thought I knew into question. At this moment the last thing I want is to pick up that camera. Yet I know I must, because it's all I know, all I have and all I love.

 

I feel like something has broken within me. How do I fix it? How do I recapture the passion?

 

BR

 

I was sad to read you so despondent. Please remember all the other things in your life that you do love and love you. They are there I assure you. As for you questions..

 

Most professionals get fired at some point. Almost all Oscar winners have been fired at one time or another. We also in freelance regularly interview for a show, think we aced it but then don't get hired.

Part of all these situations is not in your control. You can't make their decisions for them, all you can do is be you and work to be the best you possible. Rejection is much more common, its a numbers game.

 

As far as regaining your passion, 2 things come to mind. I've been lucky enough to meet a few great DP's in my life (Conrad Hall, Ralf Bode, Peter Suscitztky for a few). One thing that they all had in common was that they were real fans of cinema and even other DP's. They are not consumed with jealousy regarding others work at all. They really enjoy what others do. Conrad Hall mentioned one young DP he thought " now that guys good!" in Emmanuel Lubezki. I couldn't have agreed more. My point is they there passion for the art and craft is what drives them, not the job they get or lose.

I'm sure you have your favorite movies. Watch some again. Get excited about the new ideas that will come to mind for what next might come your way.

The advice about getting exercise could not be more true. Do it.

 

The 2nd thing has to do with what you mentioned about everything you thought you knew being called into question. No one likes to be blindsided. Its a painful experience. But its an experience necessary for growth. None of the people I mentioned above thought they knew everything, and neither should you. You are going to learn something from this experience, believe me.

 

A great feel good reminder video...

 

 

Please take care.

[Jim Hyslop]

Wow. There is so much in here that resonates with me. Pretty much every point you made, I was thinking "yeah, been there, done that." I'm just going to pick a few specific points to reply to.

 

After six years of college, I'd thought for one I'd be in a position to get something nice for the people I care about, but instead I can't manage more than a stupid blu-ray or a toaster.

For many years, I gave hand-made candles for Christmas. Everybody loved them. The people you care about know the situation you're in. If they don't appreciate whatever you give them, even if it's something as simple as a hand-made tree decoration, then maybe it's time to start caring about other people.

 

And every time one of my friends wins an award, or gets some grant money for their film, I feel jealous because my newest film didn't even get accepted to my local film festival. I feel insecure with worries that I've just got no damn talent as a filmmaker or a DP, and I get even more angry and disgusted at myself when I can't even take pleasure in my friends successes.

Just because your film wasn't accepted does NOT mean the film is no good, or that you have no talent. It also doesn't necessarily mean the films that were accepted were better than yours. I think the general rule of thumb for acceptances to festivals is about one in twenty - for every twenty festivals you submit to, one will accept you. It's a numbers game, mostly. They have a limited number of slots, and hundreds if not thousands of submissions for those spots.

 

I have never been a festival programmer, but I imagine it's quite a bit like casting. You may have a fabulous actress read for the leading lady, but when paired with the man you really want as your leading man, the two just don't quite mesh, so you go with the slightly less fabulous actress who plays well opposite your leading man. It doesn't mean the first actress is untalented.

 

My friends are all getting married and have great careers and doing cool things, and I can't afford to do any of it. Dating? Who'd want someone with such dim prospects as mine?

You'd be surprised. Just relax and let what happens happen. You will likely meet someone when you least expect it. Yeah, it sounds like a cliche, but that's what happened to me :-)

 

--

Jim

[adam ward]

Weakness awakens avarice in others. Learn from your mistakes, after all, they are the only thing here we can truly call our own. Either you didn't live up to your part of the bargain of your new employer...or you did. Figure out which one and believe it good or bad. As you said, it might simply be a product of the economy and they took the chicken poop rout of blaiming you for their inability to pay you...or, they told you the truth. You can be your best critic, truly look at yourself and find what others saw in you and your work. If you cannot find improvement, look harder. There is an old saying in this business, either you have been fired or you haven't been fired yet! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, the mourning is over, get your ass out there and work! It could be anything, look up Craigs list in Kansas under crew or Mandy.com in Kansas, what ever the gig...you need reassurance; if it's a small gig so be it. Stop whining and get back on the horse...to quote David S. Goyer from Batman Begins, "Why do we fall, ....so we can learn to pick ourselves up!"

[Brian Rose]

Believe me, I AM trying. Craigslist, all kinds of want ads. I've looked at other production companies, doing wedding videos, and teaching. Craiglist sure produces a lot of deadbeats and people who don't want to pay, but I have found a couple of people who are at least doing something interesting. I'm hoping that with the spring semester I might find some opportunities to work on some student films. I just really need to DP something, even if it's for free.

 

So far I've managed only one paying gig, and it was from a family member, which I don't count (charity). I think I'll feel better once I get past Christmas and New Years. I've had enough of all this talk of shopping and spending.

 

I'm sure I'll find something sooner or later, but it's still hard to have not found anything of substance yet, after nearly two months. I've been searching for part time work too, but that's tough to come by as well. I know I've got skills useful to someone, not just as a cameraman, but as a researcher and a writer, from my history background.

 

I guess that's why I still get a bit down. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I get angry. angry at myself for not having made more progress. I take pride in my work ethic, and my ability to overcome obstacles, and I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what options and paths I haven't tried yet.

 

And as I'm sure the rest of you have experienced at one time or another, it gets hard when you hear about friends or people your age (or younger) who are doing so well. Yesterday, my mom was going on and on by so and so who just became a nurse anesthetist and will be making 150K to 200K a year, or some guy who can afford to travel abroad three times a year because he's a pharmacist.

 

I don't expect to get rich by this profession. Nor is it my ambition to be rich. I'd be happy just to make a living. Enough to pay the bills, and have extra to put away for new gear, and invest for longer term things (health, retirement). Enough to take a special someone (if I ever find her) out to dinner, or to get her a nice gift. As is, I'm afraid I wouldn't be good enough for anyone, being without a job, and (at this point) being a freelancer in name only.

 

I get scared that sooner or later all these elements are going to come together in a perfect storm, and I'm going to be forced to choose between what (I believe) is my calling, and what makes me happy, and something I hate that pays the bills.

 

Sorry if I repeat myself. I really am trying to listen to everyone's good advice. I just get plain scared. I dont' believe there is anything after this life, so this is my one shot to do something important and of substance. And I believe that calling is cinema: to give something back of great beauty and truth. But do I have the courage do follow through? What am I willing to sacrifice? Have I even made the correct choice, or have I been kidding myself that I could ever be a good cameraman/filmmaker?

 

In the next few days, I'm going to be switching tactics. A kind of "career" saturation bombing campaign that I tried one summer in college. Simply put: I'm going to get a list of area production companies, and a few in other cities, and I'm going to send them my reel and resume every week without fail until I get results!

 

BR

[Brian Dzyak]

Like documentary work, post an ad for short notice weddings. I'm sure that you would do a good job shooting weddings.

Surendettement

You can offer wedding videos to people who decide that they do want wedding video after all

 

Like these guys? :P

http://www.break.com/index/worlds-best-vid...on-company.html

[Mei Lewis]

I dont' believe there is anything after this life, so this is my one shot to do something important and of substance.

 

I feel very much like that too. Think I'd rather be happy than do something of substance though - not that I've achieved either goal yet.

 

 

In the next few days, I'm going to be switching tactics. A kind of "career" saturation bombing campaign that I tried one summer in college. Simply put: I'm going to get a list of area production companies, and a few in other cities, and I'm going to send them my reel and resume every week without fail until I get results!

 

That's a great idea. I'm alreay planning a big drive to get more clients for my business (still photography) in the fresh new year, and I love he way you put it as "saturation bombing"! Thanks!

Edited December 12, 2009 by Mei Lewis

[Tim Tyler]

So Brian, since you are in Kansas (or Carbondale, IL according to your forum profile) and you truly feel your calling is in film making, I suggest you consider taking your $4000 and giving things a whirl in NYC, Los Angeles, or at least Chicago.

 

Large cities with motion picture production infrastructures have opportunities and energies that you will not find in the Midwest. Find a roommate in a cheap apartment and take any job you can so you'll eat and have transit fare. Make yourself available for any production assistant work, paid or unpaid, and see if you can build up some momentum with the local film making community. Be humble and don't expect to be shooting features overnight.

 

If it doesn't work out you'll have some fun stories to tell the folks back home.

 

I moved to NYC at twenty with just a few hundred dollars and slept on a friend's couch until I got an apartment. Most of my work for the next couple of years was as a parking P.A. ($70/12, usually overnight, outside, all seasons). Eventually the jobs got better, but I still enjoyed the entire experience.

[Brian Rose]

A move to the coast'll happen, no doubt about that, but I want to have some say. When I go it'll be because there is something there for me. I've got so many friends out there now, and they've languished, one guy for more than a year. For the time being, I plan to stick with the small fish in a small pond, until I'm big enough to move upstream, so to speak.

 

I'm near Kansas City, which has a lot of work going on. It's just getting my foot in the door. I'm making connections, but until I get more gear, and some more clients under my belt, I just can't compete. But it'll happen soon. I've got some emergency money, and I'm gonna get an EX1R early next year, and I really be ready to roll!

[Tim Tyler]

... until I'm big enough to move upstream...

 

Playing it safe is not always the best bet. The film business is not an easy business for most people to break into or become successful at. Like the end title card on the Famous Failures video linked earlier in this thread, "Life=Risk". Currently it would seem you do not have anything solid going for you in Kansas or on the coast, but the coast has a lot more to offer.

 

You have friends on the coast so at least you've probably got a place to crash, and you're still young. The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes to take risks.

 

As for "having some say" in your success, well, that's usually not how it works. Your successes will come from people you meet by chance, a Craigslist ad you decide to follow up on, something you might overhear in a cafe, or some other totally unpredictable event. As the saying goes, Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Prepare by introducing yourself into the mix, and then keep an eye out for the opportunities.

 

Oh, and regarding your EX1R goal... Owning equipment rarely creates paying work for the young film maker. There are many threads in this forum that directly substantiate that position. Don't start buying expensive gear until you've got extra money or a client willing to pay for it.

 

(Disclaimer: These views and bits of advice are my own and do not represent those of cinematography.com. If you relocate to a big city, become a drug addict, live under a bridge, and suffer irreversible pain and hardship, cinematography.com can not be held responsible.)

[Rob Vogt]

(Disclaimer: These views and bits of advice are my own and do not represent those of cinematography.com. If you relocate to a big city, become a drug addict, live under a bridge, and suffer irreversible pain and hardship, cinematography.com can not be held responsible.)

 

 

Don't knock the bridge, its got an excellent view.

[Brian Rose]

Do I get gear, or don't I? Do I go here or there? I just don't know anymore. I'm beginning to see that it was all delusion by a talentless loser who wasn't meant to do anything or be anybody. Who was I to think I had anything meaningful to contribute? I'm a worthless goddamn loser, whose wasted my life up to now. I'm a coward who can't make a decision, which tells me I have no business doing anything.

 

I'm done.