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Tesco Films


Phil Rhodes

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For the benefit of our international readers, Tesco is effectively, what, I dunno... Ralph's? Walgreen's? Only bigger, with massive market penetration in the UK. Almost Wal-Mart, behind whom they are the second (or possibly barely third) largest global retailer.

 

And now this:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8478414.stm

 

Forgive me for flying the flag, but we need it - unfortunately it remains to be seen whether this British company filming British authors' work will be doing so in the UK, or whether these stories will be, ahem, internationalised for the world market. I doubt there's much chance that direct-to-DVD fodder like this will attract many little gold statues, but it's precisely the sort of bread-and-butter commercially viable work the UK industry needs. They certainly have the clout to pull it off; I wonder...

 

P

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For the benefit of our international readers, Tesco is effectively, what, I dunno... Ralph's? Walgreen's? Only bigger, with massive market penetration in the UK. Almost Wal-Mart, behind whom they are the second (or possibly barely third) largest global retailer.

 

And now this:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8478414.stm

 

Forgive me for flying the flag, but we need it - unfortunately it remains to be seen whether this British company filming British authors' work will be doing so in the UK, or whether these stories will be, ahem, internationalised for the world market. I doubt there's much chance that direct-to-DVD fodder like this will attract many little gold statues, but it's precisely the sort of bread-and-butter commercially viable work the UK industry needs. They certainly have the clout to pull it off; I wonder...

 

P

 

 

You're not wrong Phil.

But unfortunately they're using a US production company.

So apart from being the consumer I can't see that how it will benefit us here. (That is unless they bite the 'worm' and start to invest in UK productions in the future.)

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You're not wrong Phil.

But unfortunately they're using a US production company.

So apart from being the consumer I can't see that how it will benefit us here. (That is unless they bite the 'worm' and start to invest in UK productions in the future.)

 

Why am I not **(obscenity removed)** surprised...

 

P

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Why am I not **(obscenity removed)**ing surprised...

 

P

 

 

Well, I think its also down to the 'CAN DO' attitude in the US.

Our industry here is too based around being competitive with each other rather than having the right attitude.

What I mean is.

In the UK if someone asks you what you do, you tell them and if they're someway in a position where they could link you with someone that is looking for a guy like you. They're thought pattern is always going to be, that if they link you with that individual, it will essentially mean that there will be less of "the pie' for them to eat.

In that respect the US seem to be far more advanced than us.

The same scenario would yield a different thought over there. One of, "Hey, if I help this guy then in the future something will happen for me off the back of that".

 

Our sort of general attitude leads big companies like Tesco to not want to do business in the UK because of that mentality. And why would they? I wouldn't, if I was them....too much bullshit

 

Our behaviour is also down to our industry being so small. Less of a pie in volume to eat

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You're not wrong Phil.

But unfortunately they're using a US production company.

So apart from being the consumer I can't see that how it will benefit us here. (That is unless they bite the 'worm' and start to invest in UK productions in the future.)

Part of it is the perceived need for a homogenized "one size fits all" product, and almost exactly the same sort of thing happens in Australia.

 

Investors/Producers seem terrified that some beer-belly trailer trash in South Porkbelly Nebraska is not going to comprehend more than 95% of the story line if they don't rigidly adhere to the US "Standard" pseudo-Oz dialect and culture, and that would never do!

 

Hardly any films get made here any more that contain recognizably Australian characters, despite Paul Hogan's runaway success with the Croc Dundee franchise, where all the Australians actually talk and act more or less like real Australians. Well, hardly any films get made here any more, full stop, for a variety of reasons.

 

The average Yank's idea of an excellent British Crime drama appears to be something like Midsomer Murders, all high teas and Best Bitter on the village green. While I'm not a great fan of The Bill, (and not just because of the sometimes diabolical video quality) I do have to give them credit for rigidly sticking to a no-questions-asked Pommie Cop Show theme, that may not be 100% comprehensible to those persons unfortunate enough to live outside the British Commonwealth.

 

I do like Taggart, though, and there's another good example of a stick-to-your-guns 'ethnic' formula.

 

It would be great of one or some of the big retailers started actively producing and marketing features specific to just one culture, but I can't ever see that happening. The "US Joint Venture" thing is always going to be too soft an option to pass up.

 

It would also be an interesting concept to make exactly the same film but in different languages/dialects, where each scene would be shot multiple times with the same sets/locations, with different sets of actors speaking different languages. Or has somebody already thought of that?

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Interesting bug in the Forum software here.

If I directly copy Phil's sentence into my reply area, it doesn't get censored:

 

 

 

Why am I not **(obscenity removed)**ing surprised...

 

P

 

but, the same sentence auto-copied in the "Quote" field does get censored:

 

Why am I not **(obscenity removed)**ing surprised...

 

P

 

Edited to add:

Er, no, looks like both sentences now DO get censored.

So what did you do to avoid the automated blue pencil?

Edited by Keith Walters
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Part of it is the perceived need for a homogenized "one size fits all" product, and almost exactly the same sort of thing happens in Australia.

 

Investors/Producers seem terrified that some beer-belly trailer trash in South Porkbelly Nebraska is not going to comprehend more than 95% of the story line if they don't rigidly adhere to the US "Standard" pseudo-Oz dialect and culture, and that would never do!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Sadly, so facking true!

 

Grit your teeth, smile and carry on

Edited by Serge Teulon
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Interesting bug in the Forum software here.

If I directly copy Phil's sentence into my reply area, it doesn't get censored:

 

 

 

Why am I not **(obscenity removed)**ing surprised...

 

P

 

but, the same sentence auto-copied in the "Quote" field does get censored:

 

 

 

Edited to add:

Er, no, looks like both sentences now DO get censored.

So what did you do to avoid the automated blue pencil?

 

My theory is that the computer knows that its just Phil, and that he just needs to swear about the awful state of things once in a while. It's nothing nasty like when other people swear.

 

Alternatively it might be that it picks up on the country field and thinks, go on they've got every reason to be swearing. You know to be fair and all..

 

love

 

Freya

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But unfortunately they're using a US production company.

 

It seems that Amber Productions are indeed American, but promise to have a UK base. Not that this helps the "British Film Industry"(as The Guardian would have it), as the first film at least, has an American director and is being shot in Paris...

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It seems that Amber Productions are indeed American, but promise to have a UK base.

Sort of like the "Cranberry" juice I just bought which turned out to have an Apple "Base". Closer examination of the fine print on the label with a scanning tunneling microscope reveals the extent of this "base": 92%!!

It also proudly informs me that the product is bottled in Australia from "local and/or imported ingredients"

Er ... what?

There should be another consumer information label: "Note: This label does not contain any useful information"... :rolleyes:

Edited by Keith Walters
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Alternatively it might be that it picks up on the country field and thinks, go on they've got every reason to be swearing. You know to be fair and all..

 

love

 

Freya

I'd think quite the opposite.

They should be setting the example of self control and stiff upper lip excellence for all we colonials and lesser breeds.

 

 

By the way, what it it with this "stiff upper lip" business anyway?

How does one go about stiffening one's upper lip, and what actual purpose does this achieve?

It's like saying: "{something} knocks {something else} into a cocked hat"

What is a "cocked hat" exactly? Is there anywhere I could still see this actually done?

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I'd think quite the opposite.

They should be setting the example of self control and stiff upper lip excellence for all we colonials and lesser breeds.

 

Ah yes but the British empire is completely over at this point. I'm guesssing that means the stiff upper lip would have to be more of an American thing now, in fact isn't that what Botox is supposed to be for?

 

love

 

Freya

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By the way, what it it with this "stiff upper lip" business anyway?

How does one go about stiffening one's upper lip, and what actual purpose does this achieve?

 

Like I said, Botox. I think the purpose is so nobody can tell that you are upset. this is a complicated thing. I think it refers to the upper lip quivering shortly before somebody breaks down and bursts into tears. If you burst into tears this would be a sign that you were weak and emotional. This would be considered a bad thing. The idea is that you should not show weakness and appear strong even in the face of bad stuff. It's basically all about being fake in order to exercise a greater degree of power over others. All about playing silly mind games in order to try and get what you want basically. Kinda sad. :)

 

It's like saying: "{something} knocks {something else} into a cocked hat"

What is a "cocked hat" exactly? Is there anywhere I could still see this actually done?

 

I wasn't sure so I looked it up on the internet. It says:

 

"hat with opposing brims turned up and caught together to form points"

 

"A hat with the brim turned up in two or three places, especially a three-cornered hat; a tricorn"

 

So now we know!

 

love

 

Freya

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There should be another consumer information label: "Note: This label does not contain any useful information"... :rolleyes:

 

 

I'm not so sure about that. It appears to me that if you look closely at the label it will explain to you that you are being lied to. This is very important to some people and there are whole web sites dedicated to the theme "wake up, you are being lied to". I would guess that there is even a website somewhere actually called "you are being lied to". Anyway yes, so the label basically says ignore the front of the bottle, this is a drink entirely made of apple. We lied.

 

Also, as a person of the female gender, and more importantly in this case, of the female sex, I can tell you that cranberry juice is a very significant and important drink with magical properties that plays a signinficant and important role in peoples lives. If you were to buy a load of drink thinking you were buying cranberry juice and in fact you were buying large quantities of citric acid , the results could be very nasty indeed! So for that reason the little label on the back might play an important role if someone was sensible enough to read it and weren't just in a panic and wanting to lay their hands on large quantities of the magic juice as fast as possible. They may check the back to see if it contains a lot of sugar and then see, hang on, this is actually apple juice with a hint of cranberry, and they might be saved.

 

Wow today I have all the answers. :)

 

 

love

 

Freya

Edited by Freya Black
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I'm guesssing that means the stiff upper lip would have to be more of an American thing now, in fact isn't that what Botox is supposed to be for?

 

Does Botox cause stiffening or softening? I thought it was supposed to disable the nerves, which would cause the facial muscles to relax. Around the eyes that wouldn't be so bad, but around the mouth it might interfere with the drinking of liquids, even the magic cranberry juice. ;-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

-- J.S.

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Ah yes but the British empire is completely over at this point.

I shall pretend I didn't hear that.

 

I'm guesssing that means the stiff upper lip would have to be more of an American thing now, in fact isn't that what Botox is supposed to be for?

 

love

 

Freya

 

No, as has been pointed out, Botox actually causes paralysis not stiffness.

Perhaps you were thinking of Viagra.

 

But all that to the side, surely it's the BOTTOM lip one would need to control if one wanted to appear totally Pukka and emotionally refractory.

I must confess I have considerable difficulty getting my upper lip to do much at all.

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One can't help but wonder if their line of films is going to match their food, you can have "Tesco Finest" movie with A-grade actors and Spielberg or someone at the helm, then Tesco Value movies made by barely pubescant weirdos with an iphone...

 

Just a thought.

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