Film Noir student film

[Stephen Lewis]

Here is a film noir short film I shot with 3 other people for a production class at UCSB. Shot on a Canon XHA1 HDV camera. Graded in Magic Bullet. Used a couple of 650w fresnels and a little handheld spot light. Tell me what you think, be honest!

Thanks

 

http://www.vimeo.com/4585992

 

-Steve Lewis

[Stephen Lewis]

No takers? Please, it is only 4 minutes: I would really appreciate some harsh criticism here. Thanks.

[Tom Jensen]

It was ok. Film Noir is highly stylized and you fell a little short. It was a good try. I'm sure you had budget constrictions and what not. The pacing in the beginning was too quick. Slow it way down. There were some good shots in the beginning but there were some bad shots. Just use the good. Just because you shoot something, it doesn't mean you have to use it. The door knock set up was too loose, the apartment would have looked nice if there were some light coming from the room. Your attempt to hide the guys face was too obvious. The music just stopped abruptly. It probably should have played throughout the scene. In the room, the eyelines were bad and should have been played more on axis with the camera. The apartment needed some art direction, it was just too stark. The shots were too loose and should have had some closeups. It's dramatic at that point which is the meat of the scene and tighter would have shown more of the tension. I like the two shot but it could have been composed a little better. And lastly, it needed smoke. Whether a smoke machine or a cigarette or two would have given it much more atmosphere. Hopefully this helps. Keep shooting, you will only get better,

[Stephen Lewis]

It was ok. Film Noir is highly stylized and you fell a little short. It was a good try. I'm sure you had budget constrictions and what not. The pacing in the beginning was too quick. Slow it way down. There were some good shots in the beginning but there were some bad shots. Just use the good. Just because you shoot something, it doesn't mean you have to use it. The door knock set up was too loose, the apartment would have looked nice if there were some light coming from the room. Your attempt to hide the guys face was too obvious. The music just stopped abruptly. It probably should have played throughout the scene. In the room, the eyelines were bad and should have been played more on axis with the camera. The apartment needed some art direction, it was just too stark. The shots were too loose and should have had some closeups. It's dramatic at that point which is the meat of the scene and tighter would have shown more of the tension. I like the two shot but it could have been composed a little better. And lastly, it needed smoke. Whether a smoke machine or a cigarette or two would have given it much more atmosphere. Hopefully this helps. Keep shooting, you will only get better,

 

Thanks Tom,

Yeah, I think these are all good points and I will learn from them. The assignment was a pretty quick one. We had three hours to shoot the whole thing and the location was standard for all groups in the class so we couldn't have altered it very much. Yes the eyelines are definitely messed up. I disagree about the music though, I think it works as is, but that's just a small thing. About the guy's face, you thought it was just too harsh, could have used a bit of fill? Thanks for the comments!

Edited March 25, 2010 by Stephen Lewis