Short Scene

[Paul Tackett]

Please critique this short scene. Embed:

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/23449003?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/23449003">Cinematography Project</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/paultackett">Paul Tackett</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

 

or My link

 

 

It was shot at night, and meant to look like day.

 

Please let me know what stands out in a bad way, what I did wrong, what I could have done better, what I could have done differently, what shots did not make sense, shots you would have liked to have seen, etc.

 

Thank you so much!