Jump to content

Rate my video storytelling?


Dong Won Lee

Recommended Posts

Hi guys I'm new to this forum and am very excited to join. I recently got into videography and storytelling and I created this video about our love for cafes. I would appreciate any feedback. I am a beginner and eager to learn more. Here's a link to the video.



Thanks!

 

Dong Won Lee

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The idea is how a person can go to a cafe, work on their craft for hours and hours, from day to night getting things done. The fireworks is an analogy for creativity and cafe is an analogy for a persons creative workspace.

Yes dialog was allowed. Do you think it would've communicated the story a lot better if I included dialog?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it is pretty good. (But I am not a commercial photog, only do documentary work.) It looks professional except for some color glitch that popped up for a second. Looked like a commercial for a hotel with product placements for the credit card and coffee. Good work!

Edited by Daniel D. Teoli Jr.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The idea is how a person can go to a cafe, work on their craft for hours and hours, from day to night getting things done. The fireworks is an analogy for creativity and cafe is an analogy for a persons creative workspace.

 

Yes dialog was allowed. Do you think it would've communicated the story a lot better if I included dialog?

Yeah I wasn't getting that via the things on screen. It might be because the concept of "loving cafes" isn't a commonly discussed thing, so dialogue could be needed to establish what everything is pertaining to.

 

If you need to stay visual, the transitions on screen don't exactly imply the fireworks are happening within the character's head. After a second look I see you masked in the fireworks footage into the pupils, but this hint is too subtle and also thrown off when it cuts over to daytime shot taking its time to transition back over to the fireworks. The audience will view that as a time lapse unrelated to the character's mind.

 

See what you can do in the editing bay with that info, a lot of times the hardest part is understanding how the brains of the masses function.

Edited by Macks Fiiod
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it is pretty good. (But I am not a commercial photog, only do documentary work.) It looks professional except for some color glitch that popped up for a second. Looked like a commercial for a hotel with product placements for the credit card and coffee. Good work!

Thank you for your feedback! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I wasn't getting that via the things on screen. It might be because the concept of "loving cafes" isn't a commonly discussed thing, so dialogue could be needed to establish what everything is pertaining to.

 

If you need to stay visual, the transitions on screen don't exactly imply the fireworks are happening within the character's head. After a second look I see you masked in the fireworks footage into the pupils, but this hint is too subtle and also thrown off when it cuts over to daytime shot taking its time to transition back over to the fireworks. The audience will view that as a time lapse unrelated to the character's mind.

 

See what you can do in the editing bay with that info, a lot of times the hardest part is understanding how the brains of the masses function.

I see. Thank you for your input. It means a lot!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...