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Last Night at the Bar


Mike Welle

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Last night at the bar I got rejected by a girl but I had a good comeback. I said to her, the cognac, sliding down my throat, with the orange glow off the bar--I said to her: "Darling, you are about as warm as a Zeiss lens." She stared back at me with her brown eyes, her hair glowing in the amber light, she smiled and left... Actually none of this is true.

 

Farewell my noble lords,

Mike Welle

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Just make sure your second choice doesn't hear you!

 

Well, I thought I would do what Chris Elliot did in "Groundhog Day." I'll be sitting in the bar whispering in a woman's ear:

 

"Most people think I just hold the camera. There is so much more to it...I mean, it is an art form!" B)

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She says:

 

"Oh. . .so you set up lights?"

 

"No, we have grips and electricians to do that."

 

"You move the camera around?"

 

"No, that's what the dolly grip is for."

 

"You compose the shots?"

 

"Well, the director's really responsible for that"

 

"You decide how the sets look?"

 

"Uh. . .that's what production designers and art directors do."

 

"What do you do again?"

 

"Um. . .um. . .fu**. . ."

 

I kid.

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"a day without you is like a week without shitting"

oh no.. it misses the film component..

 

"a day without you is like a week waiting for dailies"

:lol: HA!

 

 

"Baby, you're like an 18k on a cloudy day."

"My camera's rolling, why don't you bang my sticks." (Too far?)

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:) OK, that's a hard one to follow- but this is a true story:

 

I was mulling over lighting gear before a project with my gaffer (on the phone) and at some point he goes "yeah, open face blondes are good for bouncing...." and his girlfriend in the background yells "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT???"

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A few months ago I was at a music showcase in Gainesville, Florida and these two guys come up to me at the bar. One of them opens with (drunkenly), " You're beautiful. I'm a documentary filmmaker working on a piece about some starving kids in Africa." and then launches into some daitribe about a feature he worked on (The Hawks are Dying) as a second assistant editor. I let him go on for a few minutes, highly amused. He even introduced his friend, an actor, as having starred in the aformentioned film.

When he was done, I looked him square in the eye and said, "Pleased to meet you. I own a film production company."

He promptly shut up and walked away, dejected. This was, of course, after he asked if he could send me his demo reel.

 

Ashley Dean

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