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TOLERANCE - short dark-comedy/action movie


Elliot Rudmann

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Hi! I've posted up a link to the first four minutes (of a twenty minute film) I shot and produced this summer. This is pretty much the first "serious" film I've made. I would really appreciate any feedback/comments you guys have on the clip, especially about the night-lighting, and composition, because cinematography is my main focus of concern. I shot this with a DVX100a and edited with Final Cut Pro HD. The file was compressed to H264 format.

 

http://www.enzymefilms.com/tolerancetrailer1.mov

 

Please let me know what you think! Thank you!

 

Elliot

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It's hard to get away with a nearly 3/4 frontal "moonlight" key unless you break it up with a lot of shadows, plus the moonlight wasn't really coming from a high enough angle. I would have tried to backlight him instead and then provided some really weak soft fill to see his face.

 

This is one reason why your profile angles look the best for that night scene, because at least most of his face is in shadow.

 

Generally the moonlight is too bright to be realistic.

 

I liked the POV shot of the flashlight beam hitting the trees, which had a nice balance with the moonlight.

 

The first shot of the flashback floating down the water looking at the shore is great -- I think I'll steal it someday! I also liked the second shot that swings 180 degrees around the guy and then pulls back, and the tracking shots of the chase. Not so fond of the music and of course, your dialogue mixing needs work.

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I might be nitpicking here, but it looks like the beam in the POV doesn't match the previous shot. It looks like he sort of moves his head up and back behind the flashlight, but it still doesn't match coming out of lower screen left, like it does. (my $0.02-what's the pot up to these days?)

 

The move around the guy on the shore is nice, almost don't notice it- if David didn't mention it.

Edited by CMPhern
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