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THOSE DARN iPOD WORKERS!!


Michael Ryan

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Hello All,

 

First off I have to tell you that I love Apple. To me, they are one of the best U.S. companies above or below the radar. Steve Jobs should be given big props for what he has done for his company and for those of us who enjoy using his computers (I have used nothing but Mac since 1989).

 

When I turn my computer on it opens to the Apple website. Today they have a "story" on there about the nasty reports the news media is spreading about worker conditions at the Chinese plant that makes the iPod.

 

I read this report. Now, keep in mind that this was written by Apple. I haven't laughed this hard since I read that David Fincher was the greatest American director to come along in the last 20 years. I'm not kidding. This is very funny stuff. Think Matt Groening meets Jerry Lewis, live at the French National Playhouse.

 

You really need to read this report before they take it down. This is one of the best comedy script outlines that I have ever read. This is such a great movie idea...it's so visual. The comedy elements are endless. Read it. Tell me I'm wrong.

 

The BIG picture. I think that the original story was a "plant" by some company that is being killed by iPod sales, which is a very large part of the market. You know, one of those last ditch efforts to kill the goose that laid the golden or in this case white egg.

 

"Hello, McFly!!!!". Now, before you think too badly of those purchasing agents at Apple, who cut those BIG, BIG orders with the Chinese suppliers...you need to do one thing. Go to Wal-Mart. At random pick a few dozen products and check to see where they were made. Faster than you can say Chairman Mao, you will quickly realize that MADE IN CHINA rolls off your lips faster than a yellow alert before election day.

 

Wow, now this IS a price roll back...golly. A pal of mine works for an auto parts company that cuts BIG, BIG orders for brake rotors (the heavy metal bits that help stop your car). For years these were made in the USA. About a year ago this company began cutting BIG, BIG orders for these brake rotors from a Chinese supplier. (sidenote: too bad for the U.S. company that use to make the rotors. It had to let go lots

and lots of workers. Too bad for the town the workers lived in as well. Alas, they won't be screening Mr. Fincher's next classic at the local movie theater...it closed.) My pal looked at some of the facts and figures and was shocked. His conversation went something like this, "Do you know how heavy thousands of brake rotors are? Do you know how far away China is? Do you know how much fuel it takes to get one of those cargo ships from China to the U.S.? Do you know how little we pay for these Chinese brake rotors? How do they do that?"

 

How do they do that? For a brief moment I visualize a scene in my mind where a whole gang of top executives are sitting around a large board room and just for a minute they all sit back and day dream. They day dream about how do those Chinese suppliers sell us brake rotors at prices we haven't seen since CHARLES ANGELS was a number one rated TV show. Then, the president of the company stands up (someone like Peter Finch if he were still alive) and says, "Golly fellas, how do they do it? Come on, Johnson, let's go to lunch." The credits roll. Fade to black.

 

Mike

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Hello All,

 

First off I have to tell you that I love Apple. To me, they are one of the best U.S. companies above or below the radar. Steve Jobs should be given big props for what he has done for his company and for those of us who enjoy using his computers (I have used nothing but Mac since 1989).

 

When I turn my computer on it opens to the Apple website. Today they have a "story" on there about the nasty reports the news media is spreading about worker conditions at the Chinese plant that makes the iPod.

 

I read this report. Now, keep in mind that this was written by Apple. I haven't laughed this hard since I read that David Fincher was the greatest American director to come along in the last 20 years. I'm not kidding. This is very funny stuff. Think Matt Groening meets Jerry Lewis, live at the French National Playhouse.

 

You really need to read this report before they take it down. This is one of the best comedy script outlines that I have ever read. This is such a great movie idea...it's so visual. The comedy elements are endless. Read it. Tell me I'm wrong.

 

The BIG picture. I think that the original story was a "plant" by some company that is being killed by iPod sales, which is a very large part of the market. You know, one of those last ditch efforts to kill the goose that laid the golden or in this case white egg.

 

"Hello, McFly!!!!". Now, before you think too badly of those purchasing agents at Apple, who cut those BIG, BIG orders with the Chinese suppliers...you need to do one thing. Go to Wal-Mart. At random pick a few dozen products and check to see where they were made. Faster than you can say Chairman Mao, you will quickly realize that MADE IN CHINA rolls off your lips faster than a yellow alert before election day.

 

Wow, now this IS a price roll back...golly. A pal of mine works for an auto parts company that cuts BIG, BIG orders for brake rotors (the heavy metal bits that help stop your car). For years these were made in the USA. About a year ago this company began cutting BIG, BIG orders for these brake rotors from a Chinese supplier. (sidenote: too bad for the U.S. company that use to make the rotors. It had to let go lots

and lots of workers. Too bad for the town the workers lived in as well. Alas, they won't be screening Mr. Fincher's next classic at the local movie theater...it closed.) My pal looked at some of the facts and figures and was shocked. His conversation went something like this, "Do you know how heavy thousands of brake rotors are? Do you know how far away China is? Do you know how much fuel it takes to get one of those cargo ships from China to the U.S.? Do you know how little we pay for these Chinese brake rotors? How do they do that?"

 

How do they do that? For a brief moment I visualize a scene in my mind where a whole gang of top executives are sitting around a large board room and just for a minute they all sit back and day dream. They day dream about how do those Chinese suppliers sell us brake rotors at prices we haven't seen since CHARLES ANGELS was a number one rated TV show. Then, the president of the company stands up (someone like Peter Finch if he were still alive) and says, "Golly fellas, how do they do it? Come on, Johnson, let's go to lunch." The credits roll. Fade to black.

 

Mike

 

The movie opens with a panning aerial shot of "Apple" city. Then cuts to an indoor look at the staff accomadation, in this case a massive concrete factory filled with triple decker bunks. Then shows a worker waking up and slipping on his "Apple" jumpsuit. Possibly an audio track with a big brother style voice "time to wake up and make the worlds BEST personal audio device". Fade out. This all after the boardroom scence in america. HAHA

 

 

Who can think of a good title for this film?

 

Cheers,

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Well sorry but it's an impossible Catch 22 situation. Americans demand low prices on the products they buy, and no one can make them cheaper than the Chinese. Who will pay $78.14 for a shirt made in the USA by union workers, vs the same shirt made in Malaysia and sold for $12.56.

 

If Americans find Chinese made products so offensive maybe they should stop buying them.

 

And that includes every single Star Wars toy sold in the USA, because every one of them is made in China. Why do you think George Lucas has 3 billion dollars.

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Cause he sold his soul to the devil? Just a guess.

 

 

Don't be surprised if some very large men burst into your house at night and take you away. George's secret police know all and see all.

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