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Short Film - The Call


Art Leal

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I think the indoor shots could have used some motion. following him from place to place, or if has to be in a tripod, work some pans in there somewhere.

 

I really liked the cobwebs on the hanging cable or what have you, that was a nice frame. But on shots like grabbing the keys and gun, i don't want to see where he's going before he gets there, because then I'm already thinking of the next scene before he even gets there which makes the pacing seem slow.

 

well done. I am planning on shooting a short much like this one, except a little faster paced (chase scene).

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I think the indoor shots could have used some motion. following him from place to place, or if has to be in a tripod, work some pans in there somewhere.

 

I really liked the cobwebs on the hanging cable or what have you, that was a nice frame. But on shots like grabbing the keys and gun, i don't want to see where he's going before he gets there, because then I'm already thinking of the next scene before he even gets there which makes the pacing seem slow.

 

well done. I am planning on shooting a short much like this one, except a little faster paced (chase scene).

 

Evan:

 

Thanks for the tip on "before getting there"and on the motion following. It mostly comes from doing a one man show (hitting the record button and entering the frame). This doesn't excuse the editing however...I could have made it "tighter". Your suggestion is very helpful to me since many have told me that althoug it's only six minutes, the opening seems like an "eternity".

 

Good luck on your short..would love to see it once completed.

 

Art

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For what you have the cinematography is good. Try to watch out with the camera shaking when it is not supposed to like when the character walks in his house for the first time the door shuts and the camera shakes. Really you could actually make that into something cool for a transition but it seems like an accident.

 

I agree with the editing issues, but I don't think your bad at editing. I think it is more the story and the motivation of the character. Every single thing you show should be advancing the story that includes moving the camera.

 

Moving the camera has a specific purpose (within the context of your story) and there are so many ways that you can use movement to help the story. But don't be fooled, just moving the camera for no reason doesn't work.

 

Always ask your self "Is it motivated?" what ever doing- writing your script, your shot list, story boarding, directing etc. For example: The character comes home. Then he starts moving around his house with the mail and the soda. He gets the call. Try: The character comes home and as soon as he enters the annoying ringing of the phone starts thus giving him a reason to be near the phone. Unless you bring back things like the mail, or the soda don't use it. Just go straight to the phone. I know he crushes the soda can later but that is another issue. It takes him way too long to get out of the house after he gets the call. He seems to be angry is the feeling I'm getting. The keys, and the coat and all that can be assumed. Just put him on the road right after the call, try just showing the c/u of the speedometer and then cut out to him. For every day things like walking, talking, listening, driving etc you can always play with more and allude to- we are so used to doing those things that showing them missionary style can slow things down.

 

Besides all that I really like this film. The end sequence is money, especially that last shot with the sand moving around- timeless. Great job- I hope that helped.

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For what you have the cinematography is good. Try to watch out with the camera shaking when it is not supposed to like when the character walks in his house for the first time the door shuts and the camera shakes. Really you could actually make that into something cool for a transition but it seems like an accident.

 

I agree with the editing issues, but I don't think your bad at editing. I think it is more the story and the motivation of the character. Every single thing you show should be advancing the story that includes moving the camera.

 

Moving the camera has a specific purpose (within the context of your story) and there are so many ways that you can use movement to help the story. But don't be fooled, just moving the camera for no reason doesn't work.

 

Always ask your self "Is it motivated?" what ever doing- writing your script, your shot list, story boarding, directing etc. For example: The character comes home. Then he starts moving around his house with the mail and the soda. He gets the call. Try: The character comes home and as soon as he enters the annoying ringing of the phone starts thus giving him a reason to be near the phone. Unless you bring back things like the mail, or the soda don't use it. Just go straight to the phone. I know he crushes the soda can later but that is another issue. It takes him way too long to get out of the house after he gets the call. He seems to be angry is the feeling I'm getting. The keys, and the coat and all that can be assumed. Just put him on the road right after the call, try just showing the c/u of the speedometer and then cut out to him. For every day things like walking, talking, listening, driving etc you can always play with more and allude to- we are so used to doing those things that showing them missionary style can slow things down.

 

Besides all that I really like this film. The end sequence is money, especially that last shot with the sand moving around- timeless. Great job- I hope that helped.

 

 

Josh:

 

Some solid advice. I got a lot out of what you told me and am sure to remember it. Thanks for the taking the time..I really appreciate it.

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