The Screenplay

[Jonathan Spear]

Hi,

 

I'm polishing up the second draft of a spec screenplay I've been writing for 3 years now and I want to do it right. (Perfect?)

 

Film (or video) is a visual medium, but a good film usually, if not always, results from a great screenplay. One of the golden rules I've learned from my first draft is to SHOW - not tell. In other words, describing the scene, adding background and forground elements, structuring a believable and truthful character arc and finally, if at all necessary, "less is more" type dialogue.

 

I have a few scenes with 'shots' that I feel need to be explained to the reader to fully explain my vision of the story. It is not the shots themselves that are important, but the angle of the camera and/or the length of the lens is sometimes the most precise way to depict the image I have in my head without confusing the reader.

Most of you have probably worked with good screenplays before, and here's my question:

 

In a seasoned DP's eyes, what is the perfect screenplay?

[Guest razerfish]

You're probably better off asking writers what they think of your scripts, not DP's. What does a DP really know about writing? If you have a question about depth of field or which lens to use, you wouldn't ask a writer, would you? So why ask a DP a question about writing? I know more than a few newbie writers that can't pick out decent writing when they see it, so I imagine DP's are probably even worse.

 

However, most people who've read a few scripts can pick out terrible writing when they see it. Lots of descriptions, big blocks of dialogue, lots of camera angles, on the nose dialogue, mix and match tenses, etc. These are typical of bad scripts.

[Jonathan Spear]

I'm asking you, as a filmmaker (hiding behind the term "DP" doesn't mean you have the option to not know the basic building blocks of making a movie - a working screenplay being one of them), what a perfect screenplay is to you.

In other words, which elements of screenwriting help YOU do a better job of completing the second phase of making a movie - shooting it.

 

Notice I didn't ask you any questions regarding the technical aspect of screenwriting. That would be like asking Ray Charles for directions.

 

Filmmaking isn't politics. There is no president. It's a team effort. Everyone counts, everyone's job is crucial.

 

I'm not a DP, but I'm here everyday. I've read back-issues of AC magazine, and countless books on cinematography.

 

Your work is just as important to me as mine should be to yours.

[Matt Pacini]

I think you're question is based on a false assumption; that all (or most) of the info a DP is looking for is specifically spelled out in the screenplay.

 

Including camera or lighting instructions into a screenplay is considered a big "no-no".

If you do it, you're instantly branding yourself a newbie. Sounds silly, and we all scoff at this when we're first writing screenplays, because we're thinking of the visuals of the scene, but it's just the way it is.

 

So instead of writing:

"long dolly shot behind Sam as he walks towards the bedroom, which is completely dark except for a bright blue light coming in the window", you would want to say:

"we follow Sam as he makes his way towards the moonlit bedroom" or something like that.

 

You want to work hard to NOT make it sounds like you're giving camera/directorial instructions, basically.

An experienced DP is going to easily be able to figure how he's going to light that scene, without the writer being speficic at all.

 

Matt Pacini

[Rik Andino]

  I have a few scenes with 'shots' that I feel need to be explained to the reader to fully explain my vision of the story. It is not the shots themselves that are important, but the angle of the camera and/or the length of the lens is sometimes the most precise way to depict the image I have in my head without confusing the reader.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

It's usually a bad idea to write shots on a screenplay...

If you're going to direct the screenplay...

You already know the shots you want and don't need to read it on the script

You'll just tell the DP and AD what you're looking for in preprod.

 

If you're not directing the screenplay (which is usually the case)

The director will just ignore your shots idea and goes with his own

(happens all the time)....

 

A good screenplay focus on the story or plot-line, the characters & their dialogue

That's what you should consider.

 

Also do your headings properly:

EXT. whatever-DAY

INT. whatever--NIGHT

Mention flashbacks when necessary, cut away, fades, montages, ect...

DP and most filmmakers alike like to see the proper headings

it helps when breaking down the script.

 

Remember the screenplay is the blueprint for the movie

But usually the movie winds up being something wholly different from the script.

 

GOOD LUCK

[Alex Ellerman]

It's actually very simple... a script (spec, assignment) has no

camera angles... a SHOOTING script has camera angles.

 

That's it. Break those rules at your own discretion.

Best,

theturnaround

[Jonathan Spear]

Hey,

 

Not one camera direction in this one -- that's what killed the 1st draft. Not making that mistake again.

 

What I understand from your replies is that the DP's job is to decipher the screenplay and adapt it visually without the screenwriter's aid. In other words, I shouldn't focus on getting the exact story I have in my head across to the reader (or DP), rather more it's essence and what it's about. The DP and director then add their final touches and you end up with a combination of visions that form a visual story which may or may not resemble the original story you had in your head.

 

Thanks,

 

JonS

[Larry Fong]

Jon,

 

Yes, I think you have it exactly right.

 

I don't think it's a problem to write something like "We follow John down a dark hallway" but when shots are described in too much visual detail (especially when a location isn't even chosen yet), I think the DP gets kinda bummed out. It's not even that he wouldn't do it your way; it's just that it's kind of insulting.

 

Imagine writing "Then DeNiro is upset. He leans to his right, and a tear comes out of his left eye, and he looks up, then sits down, then sighs. His brow trembles a second later."

 

Give the broad strokes, then let the specialists make you look even better.

 

Larry