6 min short with old projector as protagonist

[Steve Howe]

Hi Guys,

 

Thought you might like to watch my recent short.

Didn't cost anything, since I have the camera and a few chinese soft boxes - and a terrible slider.

BMCC with ais Nikon and some non-L Canon glass.

 

 

https://vimeo.com/114121593

Password: 5150

 

Steve

[Steve Howe]

Hi Guys,



I would be interested in whether the story is clear. I seem to not like not explaining everything and assuming that the audience will put 2 and 2 together, but I'm not sure if there's too little exposition.



For example - the dude lighting the cig toward the end. That should be an important moment but maybe I've shown too little. I find it's something I struggle with in writing. I feel a bit stupid explaining everything. Critiques welcome.



Thanks in advance.



Steve

[Bill DiPietra]

I like where you are going with it, but yes...I'm left with a few questions as to who the guy at the end is and what exactly is happening when they "enter the film." It feels like a dream/nightmare that is meant to be more real than your typical dream, only the main characters have no recollection of it when they wake up. So that makes it seem like it's only a dream sequence. But then we see the guy from the film/dream/nightmare on the porch and kind of go "What the?..."

 

I liked your techniques and the acting wasn't bad either. You just need to iron out the narrative a bit so that the audience isn't dismissive.

[Steve Howe]

Thanks for that Bill, I appreciate your time.