Short film, please critique or comment (won award at school)

[Bracey Lemons]

Hello,

 

this is my film, 64 cents, which won an award for best Drama at the Cal State San Marcos Film Festival. I co-directed, but did all cinematography of this piece. We received a lot of praise for the camera work among teachers and peers, but I'm looking for more opinions, or what i can improve on.

 

It is about a young boy returning to his home, years after an apocalypse following y2k. Feel free to comment on this forum or the video's page. thank you.

 

WWW.vimeo.com/braceylemons/64cents

Edited December 4, 2012 by Bracey Lemons

[Lorenzo Ganugi Spagli]

looks good man ! i like the first shot a lot !!! the handheld and the color for the outside are very good,really reflect the harsh situation !!!!

[Bill DiPietra]

Interesting little film, but it feels like it ends at what should be the middle. You could definitely make it a bit longer. I want the character to have a bit more motivation that simply wanting to revisit his home.

 

I liked the hand-held work as well, but work on the composition of your stationary shots.

[Bracey Lemons]

@Lorenzo- Thanks man, really appreciate the feedback. I'm glad the feel we went for was communicated well

 

@Bill- I am aware of the strange ending, part of what we were doing was a twist on traditional narrative. It became less and less experimental as we went on so i can see how it seems strange. I want to make it quite a bit longer, but the person i worked with doesn't feel the same. He worries about losing the feel of the piece.

 

Another reason i wanted to extend it had to do with the motivation, theres an insane amount of backstory we had that never made it onto the film and a big piece of that was motivation with his sister and also simply survival. We did try to make it look as if he was there for resources though, not just to visit.

 

Actually, every shot was handheld, but with a rig. I think i know which shots you're referring to as stationary though. Is there one in particular that you would have a suggestion for?

 

Thanks for taking the time to check it out and give me feedback

[Zachary J Esters]

Hi Bracey!

 

Had I not read the description, I would not have known that the film had anything to do with Y2K. I still don't know what it has to do with 64 cents.

 

Overall, I personally think there should be more to the story. I'd highly suggest that. Doesn't necessarily have to be longer: there are several ways of adding more story to a piece, whether it's strictly editing or more filming.

 

As far as cinematography, you executed this look VERY well for what the story was meant to represent. I noticed some unmotivational bouncing of the camera in the running scene at the beginning, during the last few shots of his feet at 0:44-0:46. I'm assuming you were running without any rigs here. You're probably aware of this, but keep in mind that the job of the cinematographer is to properly execute the piece without compromising the image, under any budget. It's not much of a big deal in this piece, but in future collaborations, in similar situations, it can be. You were also co-directing as well, so it's understandable that you were focusing on two different things at once. The rest of your handheld shots were executed nicely, ESPECIALLY for rig-less handheld!

 

Only advice I'd give you on this piece is "More Story." The film is supposed to be the storyteller and market itself, so that you don't have to run around telling people what the film is about before they watch it.

 

Hope this helps!

 

 

Zachary J. Esters