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Kenji Watanabe

A Blue Dream | Short Film

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Hey guys! I was wondering if there are tips or parts that I could improve in my latest short film.

Let me know what you think and any answers are open! I also need to learn a lot with storytelling!

 

Specs: Sony A7iii

85mm1.8

28-70mm 3.5-5.6 

 

Here is the link :)

 

Thanks!

 

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Hey man I’m an aspiring cinematographer and can see real time was put into this. A few things I would personally change. First off there is not a lot happening. It’s not a short film it’s a B roll compilation. Maybe add a voice over telling a story. In the beginning and end where the man is all waved out looked very badly done. I’m not sure what you are trying to do here but it might look better without it. The glitch at the front was great and i think of you made more of them throughout it could look good as well. Maybe glitch the text? Great work. Hope I can see the final product soon

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Posted (edited)

Your film strikes me as an individualistic "tone poem," of a film made by someone wanting to exercise and express his creativity and technical aptitude. 

The film is in a sense beyond criticism, unless it shows glaring technical flaws or it is so long and/or self indulgent that the viewer, however sympathetic and open-minded he is, is turned off. Your film is perfectly fine technically and short and personable enough to keep at least me turned on, so no, there can be no criticism 

Now, if the film had an obvious intent, such as to convey a conventional narrative plot, or you had included a statement of purpose like that you wanted to show all the hues of blue or to increase the public's awareness of dolphins,  then the film could be approached on those terms.  

Edited by charles pappas
gramar

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