Premium Member Phil Rhodes Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Hi, As the title says, this is more about what's not being shown than what is. I would quite like to see "Memoirs of a Geisha" and "The Constant Gardener." However, for the forseeable future (because I asked), the local Odeon is showing, across it's eight screens: King Kong King Kong King Kong The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Harry Potter Harry Potter When I asked if they had anything suitable for someone whose brain hasn't been eroded, by long exposure to this sort of programming, to a marble-sized nugget of similar appearance to a pickled walnut, the preposterously glossy little bar-snack-brain behind the counter actually looked askance at me and suggested that they were all blockbusters, with the implication that I shouldn't therefore be complaining. Would that I lived in the age where it were acceptable for a gentleman to swipe such people with his ebony walking-cane. And, while the vitriol is still fresh, let me add that someone once wrote a web interface to the Odeon booking site that made it accessible to people with visual problems who use text to speech software. Odeon clearly felt the need to uphold their well-established reputation as an obdurate corporate megalith, and prevailed legally upon the site's owner to remove it, weathering the inevitable storm of incredulous criticism by promising immediate action on their widely-recognised-as-godawful internet presence. That was, I believe, at least two years ago. Still, if you really want to waste your time with Odeon, their telephone booking system is a true poster child for vexatious telephone mazes and treacherous speech recognition, and is guaranteed to occupy at least as much time as watching the film would have. I rely on these people for the vast majority of my cinemagoing experience. Aaargh. Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Brian Wells Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Phil, Have you considered writing the opinion column for the newspaper as a career choice? You're hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Max Jacoby Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Philippe, 'Memoirs of a Geisha' will only open on the 13th in the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Phil Rhodes Posted January 3, 2006 Author Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Maximilian; > 'Memoirs of a Geisha' will only open on the 13th in the UK. Not here it won't. Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Stephen Williams Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Maximilian; > 'Memoirs of a Geisha' will only open on the 13th in the UK. Not here it won't. Phil Phil, You need to spend an evening in London! Happy new year Stephen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Tim J Durham Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 That was, I believe, at least two years ago. Still, if you really want to waste your time with Odeon, their telephone booking system is a true poster child for vexatious telephone mazes and treacherous speech recognition, and is guaranteed to occupy at least as much time as watching the film would have. I rely on these people for the vast majority of my cinemagoing experience. Aaargh. Phil I really think you SHOULD try to attain a position somewhere as social critic. You remind me exactly of David Thewlis' character in the film "Naked". Having some fun with the Scottish guy who's lost his girl. Actually, what you REALLY should do is apply to an American paper as social critic. American trees bear a great deal more fruit for that sort of endeavor. You can tell people ANYTHING and they'll believe it here. "Mmmmm... extra-judicial incarceration and spyyiiiing on our own citizenssss.... thanks for making me feel safe, daddy." Could be good... 'course not too many people here READ the papers anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Max Jacoby Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Not here it won't. Philipus, Where is 'here'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Mark T. Ingham Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 :lol: Classic Phil! Unfortunately, I think arguing the film program with the pimple-faced snack bar jockey is akin to tilting at windmills with your ebony walking cane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Tyler Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 ...apply to an American paper as social critic. American trees bear a great deal more fruit ... Plus, American's are suckers for the English accent. I suggest a weekly podcast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon Highland Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 I think arguing the film program with the pimple-faced snack bar jockey is akin to tilting at windmills with your ebony walking cane. A couple of years ago, I actually had a pimply-faced box-office jockey at the local googaplex try to discourage me from seeing whatever it was I'd asked for a ticket to. Something like, "Ugh! Are you sure you wanna see Eternal Sunshine?? I've heard that sucked. How about American Pie 6?" Never happened before or since, but I think I see a new guerilla marketing opportunity for the studios! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaan Shenberger Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Plus, American's are suckers for the English accent. I suggest a weekly podcast! yes, i think phil would be really great at reviewing new video/cine/post gear. people would really appreciate such a critical perspective before they plunk down for a new toy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Mark T. Ingham Posted January 3, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 A couple of years ago, I actually had a pimply-faced box-office jockey at the local googaplex try to discourage me from seeing whatever it was I'd asked for a ticket to. Something like, "Ugh! Are you sure you wanna see Eternal Sunshine?? I've heard that sucked. How about American Pie 6?" Never happened before or since, but I think I see a new guerilla marketing opportunity for the studios! Your description of the guy reminds me of a great scene with the Thora Birch character in Ghost World The Birch character would have recommended Eternal Sunshine over American Pie without a doubt though. She was the anti-snackbar-chav described in Phil's encounter. Great movie Ghost World, by the way, for those that haven't seen it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eldon Stevens Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 yes, i think phil would be really great at reviewing new video/cine/post gear. people would really appreciate such a critical perspective before they plunk down for a new toy. Sure, people would like his reviews, but would the manufacturer? Not one chance in a million years. In fact, I think manufacturers would pay Phil to not review their equipment. Phil has a habit of pointing out nasty flaws. Plus, he's usually right. Remember the thrashing Phil gave the file-naming convention used by the Panasonic HVX-200? And, incidentally, I think he was right on. (Actually, it's probably not so much Phil's habit of fault-finding, as it is the manufacturer's habit of cranking out the faults. Phil wouldn't have to poop on the universe so often if it would just cut out the nonsense, eh?) However, I agree with the other posters. Phil should write professionally. His acerbic, bile-filled posts always bring a smile to my face. He's got Marvin the Paranoid Android beat by a mile. As for the general topic, of crap playing at the theaters, I really can't complain, since like many of my friends, I've almost completely stopped going to an actual theater. I'm getting older (hey, I'm in my late 30's now!), I have a child, and I have a fairly nice home theater system. We watch movies all the time at home. We go to the theater about twice per year, usually to see "epic" films that we'd prefer to see on the big screen. But it's just not that important to us anymore. Julius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon Highland Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Great movie Ghost World, by the way, for those that haven't seen it. Yep, that's where I was first introduced to Scarlet Johannssen's "nuanced" acting technique. I barely even noticed she was there, or in any other films subsequently. Really bothered me what a slacker she always played, and I was almost excited to see The Island (I said almost) just to see her forced to move or act a little. Yep, Thora totally stole that movie. Zwigoff strikes me as a bit of a nutjob, but I loved the flick, and your comparison to the counter-jockey was spot-on. $7 million budget, that was a bit surprising. Ok, so I'll still take 15 "Ghost Worlds" over one "The Island." Not financially, though; it barely broke even, but probably did decent on video. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaan Shenberger Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Great movie Ghost World, by the way, for those that haven't seen it. the movie is an insult to the comic/graphic novel, which is ten times more cinematic and nuanced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Phil Rhodes Posted January 3, 2006 Author Premium Member Share Posted January 3, 2006 Hi, I have written professionally exactly once, and the response from the manufacturer was so abrupt and apocalyptic that I think it's affected the publication's ability to get equipment to review in future. And the cut out a lot of the worst bits. So perhaps best not. Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Brad Grimmett Posted January 4, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 4, 2006 the movie is an insult to the comic/graphic novel, which is ten times more cinematic and nuanced. Yet it's still a fantastic movie. 100 times better than 90% of the movies out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Brian Wells Posted January 4, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 4, 2006 I have written professionally exactly once, and the response from the manufacturer was so abrupt and apocalyptic that I think it's affected the publication's ability to get equipment to review in future. And the cut out a lot of the worst bits. I remember that article! http://www.showreel.org/memberarea/article.php?29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Phil Rhodes Posted January 4, 2006 Author Premium Member Share Posted January 4, 2006 Oh, Christ, they used the picture. They used the picture! Cringe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Bass Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 (edited) The picture says "leave me alone or I will kill your family. And then make a documentary about it. Edited January 4, 2006 by Josh Bass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Brereton Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 When I asked if they had anything suitable for someone whose brain hasn't been eroded, by long exposure to this sort of programming, to a marble-sized nugget of similar appearance to a pickled walnut, the preposterously glossy little bar-snack-brain behind the counter actually looked askance at me and suggested that they were all blockbusters, with the implication that I shouldn't therefore be complaining. Would that I lived in the age where it were acceptable for a gentleman to swipe such people with his ebony walking-cane. Strangely, I find myself in complete agreement with Phil. This has never happened before, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it.... BTW, nice photo, Phil ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaan Shenberger Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Yet it's still a fantastic movie. 100 times better than 90% of the movies out there. i totally agree. i didn't mean to offend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Phil, For some one who dislikes the English upper class as much as you do, you sure sound a lot like one of them. R, PS: I would never have seen your picture if you didn't alert me to it in your post. Now I feel the myth is shattered in some way for me. Oh wait I'll write that last bit Phil Rhodes style for you so you can better understand. But alas mine eyes would never have fallen upon the image of the Rhodes, had he not awakened my curiosity by his own words. (yes Phil I'm taking the mick) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Tim J Durham Posted January 9, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted January 9, 2006 We go to the theater about twice per year, usually to see "epic" films that we'd prefer to see on the big screen. But it's just not that important to us anymore. Julius How the hell did you get interested in THIS website if you don't like to go to the movies? That's like saying you'd prefer to see Renoirs in a coffee table book rather than the Louvre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Phil Rhodes Posted January 9, 2006 Author Premium Member Share Posted January 9, 2006 I have no mick to take. - Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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