The Murdoch VW8000 Digital Cinematography Camera

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

OK I haven't got all the R&D sorted out yet but I'll get to it!

Specifications:

 

Sensor: "Silent Gate" full-height 35mm-sized CMOS 144 Megapixel (3 x 48Megapixel)

RGB-masked.

Signal output: 8K x 6K 4:4:4 "true-RGB"

Dynamic range: 20-bit black to peak white

Colour depth: 48 bit linear (3 x 16 bit)

Signal to Noise ratio: 96bB

Price: <US$15,000

Power requirements: single 12V 800mA power source

Lens: any 35mm PL-mount

Recording time: 60 minutes on a $98 flash memory module

 

Pictures wil be available as soon as I get Photoshop working again.

Website "under construction" but will have fantastic animated graphics as soon as I figure out how to use Adobe ImageReady.

(Simulated) pictures available soon.

 

Production models are expected to be available third quarter 2007

 

To secure your place in the queue, leave $3,000 in small unmarked bills in a sealed ziploc bag in the cistern of Gents #2, Grand Cental Station NY NY.

Edited April 27, 2006 by Jim Murdoch

[Mike Rizos]

I plan to leave a deposit for five cameras...or is it only one per customer?

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

I plan to leave a deposit for five cameras...or is it only one per customer?

Certainly not! In fact, for an order of 5 I'll give you a special price: only $18,000! But you have to be quick...

[Mike Rizos]

Sounds good. However, before I cough up my hard earned cash I would need to see a pencil sketch of the skeleton of the camera.

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

Sounds good. However, before I cough up my hard earned cash I would need to see a pencil sketch of the skeleton of the camera.

Aww Jeez! What's the matter with you guys?! Where's the trust?! Where's the love?!

Why do you all have this hangup with proof?!

Have you no faith?!

Hey, yeah, welcome to the 21st century guys!! And here's me thinking we were through all that.

I feel really...sad...you know?

All right all right! Where's that pencil sharpener grumble grumble....

[Joe Taylor]

It better have a microphone and none of this Ertyl toy construction nonsense.

[Chance Shirley]

OK I haven't got all the R&D sorted out yet but I'll get to it...

 

Mr. Murdoch -- thanks for the funniest ever Cinematography.com forum post.

 

I'll get my down payment to you as soon as I can scrape together enough small, unmarked bills.

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

It better have a microphone and none of this Ertyl toy construction nonsense.

Better than that; it has an ethernet audio connection with up to 255 microphone connections, plus inbuilt 5-channel dolby surround with matching 100W speaker outlets.

 

We're still finalizing the case construction material, but machine-milled Honduras Mahogany is a strong contender.

 

It also features a state-of-the-art blue-violet indicator LED on the front panel. That part is up and running, and the design has been frozen, so we've made some real progress, unlike some "manufacturers" I could name!

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

Mr. Murdoch -- thanks for the funniest ever Cinematography.com forum post.

 

I'll get my down payment to you as soon as I can scrape together enough small, unmarked bills.

Oh look, if it's going to too much trouble, large demonination new notes will be fine. You seem to have an honest face.

[Adam White]

Is Mr Lucas aware of this beast yet?

 

Of course if he needs to use it then you will have to attatch an ED (emotion dampner) unit to limit the performaces of any of his actors.

 

let us know when we can view your etchings. . .

[Paul Bruening]

You make your own cameras???? WOW. I print my own money. Let's make a deal!

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

Is Mr Lucas aware of this beast yet?

 

He pretends he isn't, but we know otherwise. Dammit, he's George Lucas; he knows everything!

 

Of course if he needs to use it then you will have to attatch an ED (emotion dampner) unit to limit the performaces of any of his actors.

 

We have Algorithms for that, and any other possible shortcomings. Well, we soon will; as we speak our programmers are out shopping for Dell Laptops and copies of "CGI for Dummies"

 

let us know when we can view your etchings. . .

 

The project is progressing satisfactorily and we're very excited about this. I've just finished digging the hole in my backyard; next step is to dig out some of the clay at the bottom, and then wet and sieve it so we can make the first clay models of the camera, lens and disk drive.

 

 

You make your own cameras???? WOW. I print my own money. Let's make a deal!

You print money? But do you have a license to print money?

I think there are some legal complications involved with that, but I'm not absolutely sure.

I think the government can sue you for breach of copyright, or something like that. Sounds like one of those "laws that cannot be inforced" to me.

[Paul Bruening]

Of course I have a license. I can print up most anythjing.

[David W Scott]

Price: <US$15,000

 

 

Darn it, no one wants to make a camera for the true indie.

 

Anyone buying one of these so I can steal it? I have to make a feature on the weekend.

[Rupe Whiteman]

I'd prefer it with a walnut finish to match a classic jaguar... and a bit of modernity thrown in with cappacino (blimped of course) maker to keep the seat warmers happy on set... and what about a revolving turret with a full set of digi-primes to boot?

 

Rupe Whiteman.....................

[Luke Prendergast]

Sensor: "Silent Gate" full-height 35mm-sized CMOS 144 Megapixel (3 x 48Megapixel)

RGB-masked.

Signal output: 8K x 6K 4:4:4 "true-RGB"

Dynamic range: 20-bit black to peak white

Colour depth: 48 bit linear (3 x 16 bit)

Signal to Noise ratio: 96bB

Price: <US$15,000

Power requirements: single 12V 800mA power source

Lens: any 35mm PL-mount

Recording time: 60 minutes on a $98 flash memory module

 

 

 

I have some info on this other camera which is being touted as the VW8000 killer. Higher specs and LOWER PRICE.

 

Sensor: "Even More Silent Gate" fuller-height 35.1mm-sized CMOS 145 Megapixel (3.1 x 48.1Megapixel)

RGB-unmasked.

Signal output: 8.1K x 6.1K 4.1:4.1:4.1 "truer-RGB"

Dynamic range: 21-bit black to peak white

Colour depth: 49 bit linear (3.1 x 16.1 bit)

Signal to Noise ratio: 97bB

Price: <US$14,999.99

Power requirements: single 12.1V 801mA power source

Lens: any 35.1mm PL-mount

Recording time: 61 minutes on a $97.99 flash memory module

 

NDA prevents me disclosing more. Any negotiable currency accepted, not just used bills like some 'manufacturers'. I am only an agent, not the designer of the camera, so I can only answer simple media-friendly questions.

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

I have some info on this other camera which is being touted as the VW8000 killer. Higher specs and LOWER PRICE.

 

Sensor: "Even More Silent Gate" fuller-height 35.1mm-sized CMOS 145 Megapixel (3.1 x 48.1Megapixel)

RGB-unmasked.

Signal output: 8.1K x 6.1K 4.1:4.1:4.1 "truer-RGB"

Dynamic range: 21-bit black to peak white

Colour depth: 49 bit linear (3.1 x 16.1 bit)

Signal to Noise ratio: 97bB

Price: <US$14,999.99

Power requirements: single 12.1V 801mA power source

Lens: any 35.1mm PL-mount

Recording time: 61 minutes on a $97.99 flash memory module

 

NDA prevents me disclosing more. Any negotiable currency accepted, not just used bills like some 'manufacturers'. I am only an agent, not the designer of the camera, so I can only answer simple media-friendly questions.

 

Ha! You slipped up!

Didn't think we'd notice huh?!

12.1V at 801mA means your piece of crap draws 9.621 Watts

Ours only consumes 9.6 Watts!

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to watch us come down with the last shower!

As for the rest of your specs, we will soon have Algorithms that can produce any spec the customer wants!

Our Programmer Mr Singh is already up to page 33 of "GGI for Dummies" thanks to the different time zones in India.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'd prefer it with a walnut finish to match a classic jaguar... and a bit of modernity thrown in with cappacino (blimped of course) maker to keep the seat warmers happy on set... and what about a revolving turret with a full set of digi-primes to boot?

 

Rupe Whiteman.....................

Er, you don't use Digi-Primes with one of these cameras, that's the whole point: It takes standard film lenses.

However, the revolving turret sounds like a good idea. I wonder why nobody else has thought of that...

The only problem with the cappucino maker is that it tends to increase the current consumption somewhat, and there is sometimes a problem with fogging of the lenses.

We are looking at a walnut version, also maple and larch for handheld operation.

[Mike Welle]

Jim,

It seems your own "fake of a fake" is drawing more attention than the real fake--if that makes any sense. Look what I'm talking about to see how history is repeating itself:

 

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/cardiff.html

 

Mike Welle

Charleston, SC

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

Jim,

It seems your own "fake of a fake" is drawing more attention than the real fake--if that makes any sense. Look what I'm talking about to see how history is repeating itself:

 

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/cardiff.html

 

Mike Welle

Charleston, SC

It's interesting that this whole "proposed new camera" scenario is the sort of thing that was the original basis for "Science Fiction" stories in the 1920s! That is, the author would assume that some new technology had been invented, and then write a story about how it would affect the people around it, assuming that none of the other laws of physics had changed in any way.

One of the more interesting things about the SF genre is its absolutely miserable track record in actually predicting the future!

The trouble here is

A: That the proposed cameras don't actually exist and

B: Their likely effect on the industry has been grossly overestimated

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

Engineering update for the VW8000

 

 

We are delighted to report that our second developmental hurdle has been passed.

Our fabrication engineering team has announced that the clay from my backyard is of suitable quality for shaping into the first "concept" prototypes.

Also Mrs Murdoch is now at Curtains-R-Us researching suitable purple fabric for our stand at NAB '97

As you can all appreciate we are thrilled with these positive outcomes and will keep you up to date with any further developments.

[Adam White]

Excellent news regarding the clay models. Better check that the local cats havent been round recently though or you may find a few "inconsistancies" in the product.

 

will you be ammending the design for different markets? if so, on the UK version, can the expresso machine be swapped for a tea maker (fine bone china tea-set optional) as well as ensuring the famous "already developed" blue LED winks constantly in a Dick-Van-Dyke manner that everyone outside the UK seems to associate with us. Laver-leee!

 

Also, there may be users who want souped up versions (a fluro tube underlighting the camera whilst the lens is blacked out) and I am sure I have heard one hire house offering to develope "bling" units according to taste.

 

one more thing... clapper clap once, camera on.... clapper clap twice, camera off. . . . its just so practical and you would get your own infomercial! just avoid crowd scenes.

[Sam Wells]

The only problem with the cappucino maker is that it tends to increase the current consumption somewhat, and there is sometimes a problem with fogging of the lenses.

 

Harrison & Harrison make great filters, but where's the caffeine ?

 

This is exactly the look I need, sign me up <_<

 

-Sam

[Chad Stockfleth]

I hate to say it, but I'm STILL disappointed. I'm holding out for a completely "operatorless" camera. I'm tired of having to set things and make adjustments. I want the camera to have a full aesthetic sensibility overriding even my own. Can you see it? A world where the camera makes the films on it's own. A beautiful, homogenized utopia..... can I dare to dream?

[Chris Fernando]

Can you see it? A world where the camera makes the films on it's own. A beautiful, homogenized utopia..... can I dare to dream?

 

Don't forget about the upgrade version that will go to the theatre and have the whole cinematic experience for you.

[Guest Jim Murdoch]

Excellent news regarding the clay models. Better check that the local cats havent been round recently though or you may find a few "inconsistancies" in the product.

 

will you be ammending the design for different markets? if so, on the UK version, can the expresso machine be swapped for a tea maker (fine bone china tea-set optional) as well as ensuring the famous "already developed" blue LED winks constantly in a Dick-Van-Dyke manner that everyone outside the UK seems to associate with us. Laver-leee!

 

Also, there may be users who want souped up versions (a fluro tube underlighting the camera whilst the lens is blacked out) and I am sure I have heard one hire house offering to develope "bling" units according to taste.

 

one more thing... clapper clap once, camera on.... clapper clap twice, camera off. . . . its just so practical and you would get your own infomercial! just avoid crowd scenes.

"on the UK version, can the expresso machine be swapped for a tea maker (fine bone china tea-set optional)"

 

Well, that is indeed an excellent suggestion, and we now have engineering working on a combo Tea/espresso unit for maximal international utility.

 

Regarding the bone china tea set, we approached Royal Doulton and they have graciously made available 100 tea sets, 50 each in the Val D'or and Old Country Roses (the ones the Queen uses) designs! Not only that, they gave us some invaluable advice about working the clay, and even offered to let us use their pottery kilns for the prototypes.

 

They were greatly amused by you observations about feline contamination of the clay, and their comment was: "Well, those are the ones we send to the Colonials!"

 

"one more thing... clapper clap once, camera on.... clapper clap twice, camera off. . . . its just so practical and you would get your own infomercial! just avoid crowd scenes."

 

We had thought of that but there are problems if onlookers burst into applause! However we'll see if we can't come up with an algorithm or two to sort that out!

 

 

 

 

 

I hate to say it, but I'm STILL disappointed. I'm holding out for a completely "operatorless" camera. I'm tired of having to set things and make adjustments. I want the camera to have a full aesthetic sensibility overriding even my own. Can you see it? A world where the camera makes the films on it's own. A beautiful, homogenized utopia..... can I dare to dream?

Well, Mr Singh is up to page 126 of "CGI for Dummies", so anything is possible!