Guest Morutea Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Hello all, It is my first post :) I want your thoughts on this: Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now? (Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work) Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member David Mullen ASC Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 In the U.S., on average, aging parents of adults probably are better set for retirement than we will be. But I would say that if a parent was supportive in any way, financially, emotionally, etc. then the children of those parents owe them likewise. It's a classic obligation throughout history for parents to care for their children and adults to care for their parents. Now I'm sure there are tales of irresponsible parents whose misadventures are a great burden on their offspring... I guess it would be a case-by-case basis to know how far an obligation would have to extend that was stretched to the breaking point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Dan Goulder Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now? It sounds like you're getting hassled for wanting to be a filmmaker. Most people who've gone into this business have probably gone through something similar, as it's not your typical 9-5 job, so you've got lots of company. Don't expect to get permission. Just remember, ultimately, it is you that has to live with whatever you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrizio De Sica Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 (edited) This thread is surreal !! :lol: Wise post Mr. Mullen, anyways. Especially the second paragraph. What do you expect Morutea? It's freakin' unbelievable... :P By the way, take the Jean Vigo as remarkable example. I wouldn't say on his parents (they already were...) but on his wife's illness. He sold his movie camera to handle with that. He was a real GREAT moviemaker. To be a filmmaker is not only to handle with this or that tool! IT IS also a certain kind of an attitude... Only after this assumption, it's possible to understand what the motion picture is... WTH Edited October 22, 2006 by Patrizio De Sica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Sandstrom Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 no, you don't owe them anything. that wouldn't be fair since you never asked for anything. this said most people love their parents and want to help them out no matter what. do you buy your friend a beer because he's your friend or because he bouht you one yesterday? i know for sure that the day my friend started demanding i bought him beers i would be less happy to do so. make any conclusions from this potentially either nonsense or zen wisdom you like. ;-) /matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrizio De Sica Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 no, you don't owe them anything. that wouldn't be fair since you never asked for anything. this said most people love their parents and want to help them out no matter what. do you buy your friend a beer because he's your friend or because he bouht you one yesterday? i know for sure that the day my friend started demanding i bought him beers i would be less happy to do so. make any conclusions from this potentially either nonsense or zen wisdom you like. ;-) /matt You guys - like you - are who/what (what, it's better!) I'd say I wouldn't like to be your parent_s... (mother never :D but nor your father nor children either!) anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member David Mullen ASC Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 no, you don't owe them anything. Other than this little thing called YOUR LIFE... and perhaps 18 years of support following your birth. Nothing major, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrizio De Sica Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Thanks Mr. Mullen for adding your voice on this cause vs. this insane and ingratitude show off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Jonathan Benny Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 I want your thoughts on this: Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now? (Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work) My parents supported me unconditionally throughout my life and they love my daughter unconditionally as well. That doesn't mean there weren't times when we had our disagreements. But parenting is parenting. As time goes on and as they grow older, there will be a natural transition where I am sure I will support them more and more as they need and I would do so unconditionally to the best of my abilities. AJB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member David Mullen ASC Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 We do things for the people we love not out of some quid-pro-quo logic, but because we want to. So someone asking if they should support their parents after they supported them obviously has some issues to work out. Now I understand that real life is more complicated than that, and some relationships are very messy, even ugly, but this is not really a problem of who owes what to whom -- this isn't a court of law (although that can happen too in a relationship...) But in a more general sense, we "owe" our parents in a similar manner to how we "owe" things to humanity in general -- it's about being a decent human being. But if you want to get strictly financial about it, you can estimate the costs of feeding and caring for a child from conception to when they are eighteen, adjusted for inflation, plus any time lost in working hours, and/or what it would have cost to hire someone rather than the free labor provided by each parent, etc. and figure that into your thinking about whether you have any moral obligations in considering your parents needs now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Jonathan Benny Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 But if you want to get strictly financial about it, you can estimate the costs of feeding and caring for a child from conception to when they are eighteen, adjusted for inflation, plus any time lost in working hours, and/or what it would have cost to hire someone rather than the free labor provided by each parent, etc. and figure that into your thinking about whether you have any moral obligations in considering your parents needs now. You know, I wonder if there are people that actually do that. There just might be people that actually do that... AJB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Steven Beverly Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Hello all, It is my first post :) I want your thoughts on this: Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now? (Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work) Thanks. Let me get this striaghtl your asking if you are obligated to help your parents when they're old and grey JUST because they raised you, spent nights awake, worrying about you when you were sick, spent time teaching you things, spent money buying you toys, cloths, bikes, probably your first car, fed and housed you when they could have spent that money on themselves? What an odd question. Are you somehow under the bizzar delusion that it's easy to raise a child, maybe a little more difficult and expensive that say raising a cocker spaniel? Did they ever have to sacrifice what they wanted to give you something you needed? "JUST because they supported you when you were a child" as though it were the same thing as feeding a cat and occationally cleaning out it's litter box. You don't have any children do you, because if you did you wouldn't post such an aburd question. Of course you owe your parents something. You owe them because everything you are, for better or worse, is in some way, comes from them. Furthermore you owe your sister and brothers. You owe your grand parents,your neices and nefews, your aunts and uncles and your cousins and you'll owe your children. Your family is the most inportant thing a man has. You don't owe them because they raised you, they raised you because they loved you and wanted you to have a life and you will do the same for you children. What you owe them in return is love and respect so you shouldn't NEED to ask if you "owe "your parents something, you SHOULD feel honored you have a chance to do something for them as a way to thank them for raising you. I can't believe you actually would ask this question. If your parents need help, help them. There shouldn't be any question or discussion ABOUT IT even if they weren't the best parents. Childern don't come with an owner's manual and they NO DOUBT made mistakes as is proven by you having the balls to ASK this question but they also NO DOUBT did the best they could under the circumstnases to were in and if you'll excuse me for saying so, you sound like some kind of spoiled brat who's too selfish and inmature to be man enough too take on his resposibilities. Try showing a little compassion for Christ's sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Salzmann Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 While I believe it is a good thing to do as much as we can for our parents, it is a matter of personal choice not obligation. None of us chose to be born. Life was imposed on us by our parents by their choice (in most cases). I think it is strange that we are "educated", "conditioned" or "formatted" to love everyone in our families. With all the "creeps" in this world, it is a simple matter of probability that a few are to be found in all our families. I know it's true in mine and I am unable to lie to myself and believe the contrary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Sandstrom Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 (edited) We do things for the people we love not out of some quid-pro-quo logic, but because we want to. exactly. those who didn't get that from my post are, respectfully, not very bright. it's about being a decent human being. exactly, again. /matt Edited October 22, 2006 by Matt Sandstrom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member David Mullen ASC Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 I think the disagreement revolves around the concept of "obligation"... particularly the difference between an external one (the law, society) and an internal one (personal feelings of gratitude, love). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Brereton Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 I believe the Japanese have an interesting take on obligation. That is: If you don't feel it, you don't have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Keith Mottram Posted October 22, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 22, 2006 i DONT UNDERSTAND why some PEOPLE use CAPS in the middle of a normal SENTANCE. in real LIFE DO THEY raise their voices AT RANDOM moments. with REGARDS to this THREAD i think bleach blonde boy band bros summed it up pretty well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Laurent Andrieux Posted October 23, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 23, 2006 In France you have to support your parents when they are in need... But 1) Did this guy mention it was linked to the fact he wanted to learn cinematography at any point ? 2) Should not this thread be moved to the "off-topic" section....???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly tippett Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Ya'll sound like a bunch of mushy poets. (kid'n) taking care of your elders is a natural law. I guess you need to determine if you want to obey that law. If you decide not to in some form, you will be operating outside the laws of humanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Keith Mottram Posted October 23, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 23, 2006 taking care of your elders is a natural law. I guess you need to determine if you want to obey that law. If you decide not to in some form, you will be operating outside the laws of humanity. what like a vulcan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Smith Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 My parents don't expect anything from me. I would *like* to help them. But they refuse everytime. Which, is good of my parents, although I find that it sometimes puts more strain on me, because I see my Dad working all day everyday, and I know that I could help out, but they won't let me. I won't expect my kids to help me out. The only thing I'll ask from them is that they 1. don't take the pee with using the phone e.t.c and generally running up huge bills and 2. Go to school, and get a good job. (So they can support me when I'm old and decrepped.. joking) And this is one random subject... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly tippett Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 what like a vulcan? I didn't see that episode of "Star Trek" - elaborate please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Adam White Posted October 23, 2006 Premium Member Share Posted October 23, 2006 I would expect a members first post to be a basic question or, failing that, written in a kinda "introductory" way, if you catch my drift. . . This person has posted a pretty stupid post to get our attention, and weve all gotten stuck in. . . Any other people out there who are new to the site and want to post a question (you know, to do with Cinematography and the like) please do. honestly, what a ******************** :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrizio De Sica Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 (edited) exactly. those who didn't get that from my post are, respectfully, not very bright. exactly, again. /matt Exactly, I'm just not sure if the problem is coming from the readerS or from the source... :unsure: :lol: Exactly, you should bring again a new set of other "lenses" to make the bright better. Respectfully, I'd like to know your work but you should be that kind of director who thinks the problem is coming again from the audiences... :D Edited October 23, 2006 by Patrizio De Sica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Smith Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I would expect a members first post to be a basic question or, failing that, written in a kinda "introductory" way, if you catch my drift. . . This person has posted a pretty stupid post to get our attention, and weve all gotten stuck in. . . Any other people out there who are new to the site and want to post a question (you know, to do with Cinematography and the like) please do. honestly, what a ******************** :angry: Bad day at work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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