What's the worst movie you've ever seen?

[Hal Smith]

This movie had Rebecca Romijn, lesbian make-out scenes AND lot's of gratuitous sex and you DIDN"T like it???!!!! :blink: BTW there is no such thing as Way too much gratuitous sex unless we're talking "Brokeback Mountain" B)

I have trouble with lesbian make-out scenes, I get confused as to which one I'm supposed to be fantasizing about. Having once been there in the flesh - it's just too difficult trying to figure out how to fit three sets of parts together (two of which match, one of which doesn't), I work best one on one.

[James Steven Beverly]

Having once been there in the flesh

YOU ARE MY NEW HERO!!!! To understand the dynamics and etticate acossiated with the sapphic/male relationship with reguards to the interplay of corporeal and ego-centric elements as they infliuence the individals envolved, I would recommend enbarking on an advanced investigation of this subject through an authoritative source, well versed in the field and from which can be drawn abundant and widely varied case studies for comparison....porn movies. I would venture to say EVERY porn movie has at least one such case study contained within it. I am sure that after viewing several hundred...or even thousands of these case studies, as I have, you will be able to concider yourself an expert in the realm of girl on girl on guy relationships. You may then, be able to overcome your uncertaiinty and embrace such situations with a newfound confidence. If however, after you have viewed the hundreds of thousands of examples availible and still have doubts, I would recommend constant repeditive practice in the form of practical application to hone your skills and mindset until such dynamics become second nature to you and reflexive when called apon to do so and you are able to embrace such relationships with the hearty zeal they so richly deserve. I guarantee you won't regret it.....unless of course your wife or girlfriend finds out, then you're on your own, Buudy. B)

[Michael McIntyre]

I was truly racking my brain to contribute to this thread and then Brandon McCormick hit the nail on the head.....

 

"CRANK"

 

"Crank" has got to be one of the worst films I have ever seen in my entire life. And - I have seen a LOT of BAD films. I have taken great pride in making it through some un-watchables. This flm has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

 

It is rare that I find myself pondering the many other ways that money and talent could've been spent than rendering such a loathsome, awful mess. I've enjoyed most things Jason Statham attaches himself to. Not even he could save this nghtmare. Not even Amy Smart sex-in-public in front of an awkward crowd could salvage it.

 

Just terrible. The directing team of Neveldine & Taylor (how lame is that) apparently met doing some FX on "Biker Boyz" and conned some poor saps into ponying up for this stunted adolescence swiss cheese piece of script. Next time out, they should maybe stick close to the render farm.

 

My apologies to DP Adam Biddle as his work could only do so much for the finished edit.

[Phil Rhodes]

Hi,

 

> I can't imagine anything worse than "Starship Troopers".

 

Starship Troopers is genius.

 

Phil ("'s roughnecks! Hooah!")

[K Borowski]

YOU ARE MY NEW HERO!!!! To understand the dynamics and etticate acossiated with the sapphic/male relationship with reguards to the interplay of corporeal and ego-centric elements as they infliuence the individals envolved, I would recommend enbarking on an advanced investigation of this subject through an authoritative source, well versed in the field and from which can be drawn abundant and widely varied case studies for comparison....porn movies. I would venture to say EVERY porn movie has at least one such case study contained within it. I am sure that after viewing several hundred...or even thousands of these case studies, as I have, you will be able to concider yourself an expert in the realm of girl on girl on guy relationships. You may then, be able to overcome your uncertaiinty and embrace such situations with a newfound confidence. If however, after you have viewed the hundreds of thousands of examples availible and still have doubts, I would recommend constant repeditive practice in the form of practical application to hone your skills and mindset until such dynamics become second nature to you and reflexive when called apon to do so and you are able to embrace such relationships with the hearty zeal they so richly deserve. I guarantee you won't regret it.....unless of course your wife or girlfriend finds out, then you're on your own, Buudy. B)

 

From the pictures I've seen of your basement, you need to give up critiquing these "case studies" for your foreseeable future :rolleyes:

[Matthew Buick]

I watched a animation once, it was called ''The haunted house on Horror Hill'', really awful.

[Chris Durham]

Doubt anyone will agree with me on this but I'm gonna have to say Eraserhead. I can't even tell what virtues this flick has in terms of cinematography and whatnot - because it's simply incomprehensibly horrific to watch. And I've heard the "you just don't get it" argument before; but come on - If someone's gonna make a movie that's difficult to "get" because the film's so hard to watch, then who's really to blame for the fact that the point is lost? I've watched this piece of grunt twice and it just got worse.

 

The runner up is Zardoz, but at least that leaves you with the funny mental images of Sean Connery in a red diaper and bandolier running around obeying a giant floating concrete head that vomits rifles.

 

And I'll also have to give honorable mention to Manos: the Hands of Fate. Good call David.

[Jon Rosenbloom]

Yentyl. 'Nuff said.

[John Holland]

We talking same film here "Yentl" ? Stunning images , but rest is a bit iffy . John Holland.

[David Leugers]

Yentyl. 'Nuff said.

 

I have never watched this film, especially after seeing a skit on the old Second City TV show

where prison inmates desparate for some release from their dire situation were offered a

trip to a theatre to see a movie. When they found out the movie was going to be "Yentyl" they

all said no and went back to their bunks! I just figured it must be really bad... :rolleyes:

[Leo Anthony Vale]

Starship Troopers is genius.

 

Phil ("'s roughnecks! Hooah!")

 

Here, here, Phil.

 

While not quite as geniusy as 'Robocop', light years above 'Hollow Man'.

TV's now outed Doogie Howser smirking about in an SS uniform.

How cannot one love it?

 

The runner up is Zardoz, but at least that leaves you with the funny mental images of Sean Connery in a red diaper and bandolier running around obeying a giant floating concrete head that vomits rifles.

 

Though I disagree with your assessment of the movie, I will point out that Connery trades in the John Carter of Mars like diaper for the girliest outfit on a male star until Brad Pitt in 'Troy'.

 

I still wish that Borman had gotten to make 'The Lord of the Rings'.

[Ken Cangi]

There have been several, although Weird Science still rallies for first place. The scene in which misfit bikers literally crash Gary and Wyatt''s party was physically hard to watch.

[Phil Rhodes]

Prince of Spaaaaace!

 

Although it seems unfair to use anything that's been on MST3K, due obviousness and the fact that it's had the shitripping of its' life already, I did actually manage to come across this independently.

 

Not telling you how.

 

Phil

[James Steven Beverly]

From the pictures I've seen of your basement, you need to give up critiquing these "case studies" for your foreseeable future :rolleyes:

 

But if I did that I'd have no love life at all :blink:

 

The runner up is Zardoz, but at least that leaves you with the funny mental images of Sean Connery in a red diaper and bandolier running around obeying a giant floating concrete head that vomits rifles.

Sean Connery in a red diaper and a giant, floating, concrete head vomiting rifles WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE. :D

[Michael McIntyre]

I realize I previously voted for "Crack", er... I mean "Crank".

 

After just viewing lat night, I will have to add "The Black Dahlia" to this mix.

 

Laughable on so many levels but still downright awful. Pretty funny watching Josh Hartnett trying to not smoke the many cigarettes he was forced to give the peiod piece some period credibility.

 

Also - major red flag when a director's forced to insert earlier dialogue to remind the viewer about what all the plot points are. At the end, still left with "Who cares?".

 

Probably not the smartest place to have odds with a Vilmos Zsigmond-shot film but purely a plot and story critique.

[Leo Anthony Vale]

Sean Connery in a red diaper and a giant, floating, concrete head vomiting rifles WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE. :D

 

& Charlotte Rampling too.

 

& cinematography by Geoff.Unsworth

[John Holland]

But it was a double fog filter to far !!

[Hal Smith]

Yentyl. 'Nuff said.

Naw, "Yentl" ain't too bad, it all depends on whether or not one is a Streisand fan.

 

Some (many?) said "Evita" was a dog, I personally think Madonna absolutely nailed that role (and I am not much of a Madonna fan). I've seen several stage productions of "Evita", not one came close to telling that story as well as the movie. Isn't it funny how the Really Useful Theatre Group then turned around and completely BOTCHED "Phantom", another Sir Lloyd Weber ditty? Now there's a TERRIBLE movie! I've seen "Phantom" on Broadway and Broadway tour and in the case of the movie, it's not even recognizable as the same work as the stage play. I like it when Hollywood physically expands a musical as was done with "Chicago" and "Evita" (Marshall understood how to glitz "Chicago" up, but also how not to ruin the icons like "Cell Block Tango" and shooting "Evita" in many of the the actual Argentinian locations was breathtaking). But what in the world were they thinking when they made "Phantom"? It looks like they started out to make an omelot and ended up with watery scrambled eggs instead.

 

And while on this rant: what in the world is wrong with the "Producers"? It's virtually the stage musical but it just doesn't work. My wife saw Lane and Broderick on Broadway in the stage musical (I spent the evening sick in a W.57th Street hotel room). She saw the movie and wasn't impressed with it, particularly Uma's ULLA. They probably didn't cast Cady Huffman from the Broadway cast because she's a bit old and probably wouldn't look good in closeups, but surely there's a tall, young, pretty blonde around somewhere who can act, sing, and dance - and make every man in the audience want her - bad. Which, as gorgeous as Uma is, she just didn't have the right "You want me? You got me." aura. "And Ulla have Sex at Eleven" begged the question: With who? Herself?

[Tristan Heiden]

the worst movie i have ever seen..... Viva Knievel. its god awful.

[Matthew Buick]

Folks, I have a new ultimate.

 

My brother stole on of my precious rolls of E100D and ran round the garden screaming and filming, and wasted the whole thing, he then had to cheek to ask me to foot the processing bill.

 

I think I may kill him.

Edited February 12, 2007 by Matthew Buick

[Guest]

Why do I get that sinking feeling that my feature will be added to this thread in five months?

 

R,

[Joseph Winchester]

My all-time list of bad movies that aren't good:

 

1. Catman Lethal Track

2. Catman 2

3. Manos the Hands of Fate ( even MST3K couldn't do anything with this......)

4. Dungeons and Dragons

5. Trilogy of Terror

6. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

7. Army of One with Dolph Lundgren

8. Tennage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3

9. Star Trek 5 .... WTF?

10. The original Punisher

11. The new Punisher

 

My all-time list of bad movies that are GREAT!

 

1. The original Fantastic Four - Never released, Roger Corman produced.

2. Cabin Boy - Love it!

3. Space Mutiny - One of the MST3k best.

4. Hong Kong Face Off - VERY early John Woo

5. Hardboiled Killers - Another early Joh Woo with Chow Yun Fat

6. Captain America

[James Steven Beverly]

Why do I get that sinking feeling that my feature will be added to this thread in five months?

 

R,

 

Damn Dude, nothin' like havin' a lttle faith in your own work. It CAN'T be THAT bad! Why don't you post a few clips so we can take a look. Even if it's REALLY bad, I promise not to laugh.....unless it's a comedy. B)

[James Steven Beverly]

My all-time list of bad movies that are GREAT!

 

1. The original Fantastic Four - Never released, Roger Corman produced.

2. Cabin Boy - Love it!

 

Cabin Boy, Bad?!! I musta missed something. I thought it kicked ass.

Where did you get a chance to see Corman's "Fantastic Four" I would LOVE to see that flick! B)

[Guest]

Damn Dude, nothin' like havin' a lttle faith in your own work. It CAN'T be THAT bad! Why don't you post a few clips so we can take a look. Even if it's REALLY bad, I promise not to laugh.....unless it's a comedy. B)

 

Oh it shouldn't be a problem now, I've used all the best stuff and re-cut it. Now I have a five minute short film for festivals :)

 

R,