Premium Member Walter Graff Posted May 5, 2007 Premium Member Share Posted May 5, 2007 (edited) Got thinking and have some suggestions. Change the name of this site to cinematogREDphy.com. Change the orange disk in header to a RED disk. No, change it to the RED iris blade icon. Cool!!! Maybe add a motion GIF of that thing that looks like a RED lens on knife blades or something (spider?) running around the screen. Notice the last three letters of the word spider are RED backwards. Coincidence? Natural selection? What the hell is that thing anyway! Who cares, it's RED. You can have it run randomly around the screen with a RED crosshair. Shoot it and watch it shout "4k!" then hear the sound of a sword being drawn from a sheath. Change web page subtitle to "ProREDsional Motion Picture Camera People, News & REDsources" Make Website background RED. Make smileys RED. Eliminate all other topics other than RED, no one reads them now that RED is here. Make RED have self perpetuating sub-topics so that each time someone adds a subtopic, a computer algorithm makes 9 more using random combinations of the word "RED". Create a word of the day that starts with R and ends with D. Anytime someone types it, the screen flashes RED and a voice shouts "4k!" Make the website play a continuous 400k tone when you are on any page on the site with a female voice that whispers "4k" every 100 seconds. 100 because the word RED is in the word "one hundred". Write code that only allows the D, R, and E keys to work when typing messages on the site and any other keys only type the letters R, E, and D depending on what letter other than R, E, or D you type. Create a subroutine that does automatic spelling check so that a sentence like this is corrected to say: "CREDate a subREDtine that does automatic spelling RED so that a REDtence like this is coREDected to say:" Create a weekly Haiku contest to discover how many words in the English language contain the word RED and can be put into 5-7-5 form such as: hatred entered covered haired considered credit predominantly Sponsored Redirect Powered Incredibly Tired Appeared Credit Reducing Mattered Bored Discovered Desired Suffered This may become the new suko of the oughts! I'm sure these and a few other ideas for the site will be appreciated now that filmmaking has been turned completely on its head and will assure a smooth transition to an inevitable change to the future of cinematogREDphy. Edited May 5, 2007 by WALTER GRAFF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Morlan Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Mwa ha ha ha ha. Thanks Walter. Agreed, some perspective is always needed and RED has had its full share of rhetoric - fanboys and dissenters essentially commenting in a vacuum. RED One is just another tool in the panacopia of resources available to the film & video cinematographer. As reservation holder #414, I look forward to adding it to my arsenal of film and video acquisition - should it be all that is promised. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Given the current climate this thread will last another 10 seconds. 10...9....8....7....6..... R, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Stephen Williams Posted May 5, 2007 Premium Member Share Posted May 5, 2007 Given the current climate this thread will last another 10 seconds. 10...9....8....7....6..... R, Hi Richard, There's also a thread about this thread on a Red site! Stephen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Buick Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 I think there should be a spam thread, in which everyone can spam non-sensically in order to take the edge of the stresses of the day... It really works... ...honest... ...no, I mean it. J00R A1L N000BZ!!1!!!1! IM 2 AWWSOM3 F0r j00Z!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Hi Richard, There's also a thread about this thread on a Red site! Stephen Ah yeah, I found it. Walter has become the new me, the torch has been passed to a new generation. R, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Goldberg Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Got thinking and have some suggestions. Change the name of this site to cinematogREDphy.com. Change the orange disk in header to a RED disk. No, change it to the RED iris blade icon. Cool!!! Maybe add a motion GIF of that thing that looks like a RED lens on knife blades or something (spider?) running around the screen. Notice the last three letters of the word spider are RED backwards. Coincidence? Natural selection? What the hell is that thing anyway! Who cares, it's RED. You can have it run randomly around the screen with a RED crosshair. Shoot it and watch it shout "4k!" then hear the sound of a sword being drawn from a sheath. Change web page subtitle to "ProREDsional Motion Picture Camera People, News & REDsources" Make Website background RED. Make smileys RED. Eliminate all other topics other than RED, no one reads them now that RED is here. Make RED have self perpetuating sub-topics so that each time someone adds a subtopic, a computer algorithm makes 9 more using random combinations of the word "RED". Create a word of the day that starts with R and ends with D. Anytime someone types it, the screen flashes RED and a voice shouts "4k!" Make the website play a continuous 400k tone when you are on any page on the site with a female voice that whispers "4k" every 100 seconds. 100 because the word RED is in the word "one hundred". Write code that only allows the D, R, and E keys to work when typing messages on the site and any other keys only type the letters R, E, and D depending on what letter other than R, E, or D you type. Create a subroutine that does automatic spelling check so that a sentence like this is corrected to say: "CREDate a subREDtine that does automatic spelling RED so that a REDtence like this is coREDected to say:" Create a weekly Haiku contest to discover how many words in the English language contain the word RED and can be put into 5-7-5 form such as: hatred entered covered haired considered credit predominantly Sponsored Redirect Powered Incredibly Tired Appeared Credit Reducing Mattered Bored Discovered Desired Suffered This may become the new suko of the oughts! I'm sure these and a few other ideas for the site will be appreciated now that filmmaking has been turned completely on its head and will assure a smooth transition to an inevitable change to the future of cinematogREDphy. Thats REDiculous! ....oh no... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Smith Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 (edited) Thats REDiculous!....oh no... Oh dear... :lol: Edited May 5, 2007 by Daniel Ashley-Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Buick Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Actually, we should ban him for good. He will only continue to REDuce the humour in this site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Walter Graff Posted May 5, 2007 Author Premium Member Share Posted May 5, 2007 Mwa ha ha ha ha. Thanks Walter. Agreed, some perspective is always needed and RED has had its full share of rhetoric - fanboys and dissenters essentially commenting in a vacuum. RED One is just another tool in the panacopia of resources available to the film & video cinematographer. As reservation holder #414, I look forward to adding it to my arsenal of film and video acquisition - should it be all that is promised. Michael I can see you are a professional Michael. And I think that is probably the biggest problem with these 'cinematography' type boards. As short as five years ago they were mostly filled with working professionals, newbies and students, all discussing the art. Then cameras like the DVX came to be and suddenly students were using the moniqur of Director of Photography and hobbyist started calling themselves shooters. As a result you never know if teh person behind the name is really a pro or just someone that thinks htey are because they own a camera that can make a 24p film blur. As a professional I made this humorous thread after spending an hour looking at the ?REDheads? and their scientology-like following. This new form of viral marketing was started with the DVX, evolved into the HVX and now has been taken over with RED. In fact the REDhead phenomenon is identical in pattern to the DVXfreaks and then HVXfollowers who put the cameras on a pedestal not because of what they could do (in fact most never really made much of anything creative with them or even actually owned one) but rather they used the comparison of what bigger more robust cameras did as a sort of validation that says if I can speak the language and even better own the Rosetta stone, then the world will see that I am real and not see my faults (all self perpetuated ?faults? of course). It's quite interesting and as a student of human sociology it has deep reaching meanings and origins. I think you said it best and hence why I can see you are obviously a true professional. No camera is the holy grail. No format the end all. They are tools. I currently own six cameras from HDCAM down to DV, each has a need and each does what it is supposed to do rather than me dreaming of what it should be doing. But for most who are new to this industry or who have dreams far beyond what many of us had climbing the ropes of this business the only way they can be climbed, it seems that like a magician, illusion and slight of hand are going to be part of the new breed of storyteller. I'm sure besides the obvious: more people will now have technically better means to make more crap, we'll see an emergence and development of a new genre in filmmaking that they call independent now but it really isn't, it just hasn't really been identified yet nor found it?s true niche. As the pros like Mullen and yourself say best here over and over the right tool for the right job is the way the world works. There is no Excaliber that can do all or will do all. Life simply doesn't work that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Tim Pipher Posted May 5, 2007 Premium Member Share Posted May 5, 2007 Honorary Digital Director: AlfRED Hitchcock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Williams Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Whats Black and white and red all over? Used to be a newspaper Now its a 35mm Konvas So why cant I get my 16mm negative film to thread in a red? In colorspace no one can hear you scream "Still cant thread this damn camera" arma red'un The mark of the red beast 444 eVERY cAMERA will carry this mark on its lens cap. Steven spielberg saw red after george lucas chose the camera. Lucas was heard to remark you dont need to thread the damn camera! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Whats Black and white and red all over? Used to be a newspaper Now its a 35mm Konvas So why cant I get my 16mm negative film to thread in a red? In colorspace no one can hear you scream "Still cant thread this damn camera" arma red'un The mark of the red beast 444 eVERY cAMERA will carry this mark on its lens cap. Steven spielberg saw red after george lucas chose the camera. Lucas was heard to remark you dont need to thread the damn camera! Can we get an English translation of what you're talking about? Sorry, but this post makes no sense. Is it just me? :blink: R, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Williams Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Can we get an English translation of what you're talking about? Sorry, but this post makes no sense. Is it just me? :blink: R, Its just a nonsense post richard take no notice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Walter Graff Posted May 6, 2007 Author Premium Member Share Posted May 6, 2007 Ah yeah, I found it. Walter has become the new me, the torch has been passed to a new generation. R, Well I haven't seen it and probably will not as the RED site has little ot offer until they have cameras in production and real users. But I would hope that people don't take personal what is clearly satire. I don't see me buying RED as it really doen't offer me anything I don't already have in the equipment I own now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warren Shultz Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Ah yeah, I found it. Walter has become the new me, the torch has been passed to a new generation. R, Ah shucks, Richard, just light another one. There's enough fire to go around. Actually, I love satire and the few comments I make are all satirical. Like when I get res #410 I'll have 3 cameras and that will make me almost 1/2 as professional as the guy with 7. (Someone's going to REDprimand me for that) I personally don't see why it's so annoying to allow the newbies to dream. They'll be shattered soon enough by reality. I might even pick up a great deal on a camera. In the mean time, I wish I could come up with a viral campaign as wildly successful. You gotta admire that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member Walter Graff Posted May 6, 2007 Author Premium Member Share Posted May 6, 2007 I might even pick up a great deal on a camera. I was wondering the other day about that. When tee HVX came out a bunch of folks were so excited until they found out it was well over their price rang. Some dove in anyway and are still in debt trying ot pay it off. I wonder how many similar people took the $1k dive pre-ordering RED before prices were established not realizing that to really use the RED one you need about $30k minimum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warren Shultz Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 I was wondering the other day about that. When tee HVX came out a bunch of folks were so excited until they found out it was well over their price rang. Some dove in anyway and are still in debt trying ot pay it off. I wonder how many similar people took the $1k dive pre-ordering RED before prices were established not realizing that to really use the RED one you need about $30k minimum. I'm sure there will be several. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart McCammon Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Walter, your request for a haiku has been granted: redfilm shooter no crew needs prestige machine can't fix script in post Enjoy) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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