Alex Ellerman

Thanks for taking the time to post that... sobering :) I've heard that most 1st time filmmakers hope to break even on their film if they get distribution - now i know why.

I don't think you can shoot any movie you want in Communist China... certainly not any Hollywood movie. there's a lot of government red tape. I have read that screenwriters on avg. receive .03 per dvd, and they want to bump the number to .06, and the studios want to wait... (not to mention the stuff they're haggling over like Internet residuals, etc.).

I would consider a movie like 'Haute Tension,' which launches into the story without the exposition, which is borderline hollywood logic. let the backstory unfold - let the hunted man figure out the hunter's identity in pieces as he flees. to me, more interesting. as others have mentioned, that is not a script you posted. it's a short story, I guess. polish 'er up! good luck.

Ryan - read your work... overall, if you're planning on shooting it, you can write it any way you want. If you want to turn it into a Shooting draft for someone else, then you might consider making some changes. You need to show and not tell. 'Sam turns around to face the dam, (as if to challenge it.)' What does that look like, exactly? If I told you to make that look on your face, and with your body, what would you do? It's a tell. 'Laura nods politely, but looks at him quizzi-cally.' What does a polite nod look like, compared to an impolite nod? if I showed you three photos of my face, could you tell 100% which look is quizical? no. it's a tell. pro scripts tend to cut adverbs (politely) and go lightly on the adj. and use interesting verbs rather than helping verbs, eg. darts rather than is running or runs fast. It's overwritten in the sense that you have blocked out too many gestures, "shakes his head, is silent, looks up at him, hangs his head, runs a hand through his hair." I picked all those out in 3/4 of a page. it's too much, breaks up any flow you might have. Pro scripts tend to use wrylies (angrily) sparingly. They tend not to worry about credits. they capitalize INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY and EXT. DAM I can't say i read your script with great interest. it has some nice descriptions, and captures dialogue all right. but it's not moving. I wasn't sure who / what story i was reading. there's a lot of small talk. get into the scene as late as possible, get out as early as possible. Who is the protag? why are you telling me this story? hint: it should probably be the most important thing / day in his life up to this point. if it's not, then there's some other script i should be reading. best, ae

your drafts are all garbled for me - but I'll give you some general advice. download and read scripts. there are tons of them on the Internet. iscriptdb, drew's script-o-rama, simplyscripts, etc. etc. read scripts in your genre, produced scripts, spec scripts, shooting scripts. you'll get your answer. best~ ae

Gorgeous stuff! congrats!

That was beautiful... can you buy a dvd of it anywhere? would love to watch it on my home tv...

Mike - Congrats! i was impressed by the idea / concept / execution of the webisodes... they're more exciting than the trailer of the film for my money. I was definitely interested in the camera - i liked the way some of the lights and practicals were blown out - and i wondered if it was an hvx... and i wanted to know how much color grading/DI went on with the footage. The trailers were well written & edited, great individual moments and mastery of suspense. i read up as much as i could on HR & Variety and elsewhere but most of the info focused on fearnet.com I think this is a great marketing tool for the film - and really - could spawn a tv show very easily. Thanks for your reply - again, good job! ae

Anyone know any of the technical specs / postproduction behind the webisodes? I watched all the behind the scenes stuff on the fearnet.com website and they didn't give much away... I like the concept and execution of the webisodes, would love to learn about them. Blood Trails

Stylistically, i would have liked the actors to be less aware of the camera on the dolly shot... i just felt like it took me out of the world you had created a little bit. maybe you wanted to do it that way. the foley and music definitely added to the piece...

Wondering if anybody has a copy of 'The Thing' BFI Classics book? I'm mostly wondering if its really good/insightful/etc., as it's a fav movie of mine, and i'm thinking about acquiring a copy. thanks~

Final Draft is industry standard, but now that it has the save as PDF function, i don't know if it matters that you use final draft, unless you're collaborating with others... Screenwriter, Sophocles, Movie Magic, and Celtx are also popular... the latter of which is open source. CELTX

I know people hate to address the ugly topic of finances... but for a 90 minute S16 feature using this path inDI or simliar path... are we talking over or under $100k for this type of DI, assigning all variables to the most likely case...

Love the book idea, David... any idea what the comic book software is called? good luck on the shoot~ ae

i think it is helpful to have an acting background... equally helpful is a writing background... if you have put together a script, then you're less likely to be cavalier with someone else's work, and more likely to understand little things like the inciting incident, the act breaks, the reasons why things are in place...

I thought it was great - the out of focus stuff gave it a real documentary feel... the music really pushes the energy... i felt like the bottom drops out when the pretty lady in the black outfit appears... it's a tonal shift i just wasn't ready for... i would go for something lesser but that's just me. very interesting spot.

Of course Enrique... i gave you a procedural and maybe what you wanted had more to do with the content of the short? Unfortunately for me, i can't really enjoy a script that hasn't maximized its dramatic potential in the writing stage. being more show than tell will help. to your point about the viewers not knowing... maybe have them learn the names of the participants in real time, rather than revealing them at the beginning. I see that you were trying to set the stage for a boring office meeting (careful with the boring - you don't want it to *be* boring). See if you can get a copy of Office Space or 9 to 5 and see how they wrote it up. I would do a little intro banter like "we have timecards for a reason, please punch in when you get here..." then segue into a bit about people stealing office supplies. then go with your bit about logo/branding and slowly reveal Bruce, Diana, Clark, etc. i still don't know if it's my cup of tea, but might help you get what you're looking for. Read some scripts, it will help~ Best,a.e

Hey Enrique - always brave to post work for others to critique... i have a couple suggestions for you: * read some scripts. some produced scripts. that will help you with formatting and style. you have HUGE blocks of text with one line of action. you have a lot of helping verbs, eg. "is reading" instead of reads. And you have bland verb choices; 'is running' could be darts or sprints. * you need more white space. cut the CONTINUES and MORE. Cut the Wrylies. eg (raises an eyebrow, thinks, shrugs). Trust me. * You introduce a bunch of characters awkwardly at the table. you would be better off giving us a taste of the picture rather than a literal map. for instance, "The Members of the Justice League seated around an immense oak round table; one chair is empty." let the viewers mind fill in some of the blanks and do some of the work for you. * your dialogue blocks are perhaps too mamet-esque for lack of a better comparison. you're controlling the cadence and taking too long to say something. sometimes, less is more. unless you're mamet or Tarantino. * as a screenwriter, you are too much tell and not enough show. When you say "Diana is offended," that is tell. If you said, "Diana huffs," that is show. You show me a picture of Diana looking offended, and I show you a picture of Diana. * what is the purpose of the short? a bunch of superheros are gonna sit around and chat about a logo? I don't think it really showcases your screenwriting ability. i can't imagine it would showcase a cinematographer's skill. It seems like kinda bland, and the clearances would be murder. the only angle here is that it's superheros, and that won't sustain the comedy. it's fun as an exercise, but you haven't necessarily done the homework to suggest it's an exercise. if scripts are your thing, roll up your sleeves and read a bunch and it will sink in. Good luck~

well - if you do Non - guild work as a guild member you can get in trouble... back when there was a SAG strike, I think Tiger Woods did a commercial and got into some hot water... basically, they threaten you with never being accepted into the guild in the future, and they blackball you and anyone who works with you. most actors in the US, to my knowledge, will not do a feature length film if there's a chance that they could get caught. a short for friends, sure. but anything with money involved, and they seek an exemption, which they can get.

I watched it - some great work... it's a little repetitive and i think it gives a lot away. but it looks great - lots of trailer moments and excitement. would benefit from a "less is more approach." yeah?

Francis Ford Coppola is interviewed in this month's Moviemaker magazine and he has some comments on working with Willis and Storaro, comparing and contrasting their styles. good stuff.

to answer the original question: there are many ways to get into a studio most likely... one way is to find a producer with a studio deal. you show him your script and attachments and he loves it so much he walks it into the studio for you. another way is to put a project together with funding, attachments, etc. and it's so great that someone involved in the project knows someone at a studio and you get a meeting. an A list writer who posts on a message board i frequent also talks about writing the killer script. not many people on this site aspire to that goal, but if you write a great script, and by great, i mean beyond amazing, things will happen. he says you could drop it on the freeway, and things will happen. there have been a number of articles in recent months talking about equity from Wall Street finding its way to Hollywood, comparing films to widgets (high risk widgets). but there are gatekeepers everywhere. for scripts. for money. for short films. you have to do something extraordinary. and then, (smile), you have to do it again.

i spoke with Director/producer recently who has some theatrical and direct to video experience... he basically espoused the model that Richard Boddington was touting, name actor, under $400k, and he liked HD... it seems like there is a total void of movies in the $500k to $1.5m budget as they are too expensive to recoup direct to video, and not expensive enough to get a theatrical... does that sound right? and last: if you love jamie pressly, see the Poison Ivy movie with her in it... oh my word is she hot!

I liked the way you edited the trailer, the bookend with the matches, and the excitement you built with the titles and funkied up images... i didn't love the actors... the title is B-movie, i would reconsider. the trailer is a little confusing in that it has: supernatural horror, film noir, mystery elements, so it's kind of an odd mix. i wanted to get a better feeling for the movie, aside from the visuals and sounds which seemed pretty good. best, ae

if you guys buy any videos, can you report back on the quality/length/etc??? much obliged! ae